Posts Tagged ‘Family’

Five Ways to Improve Caregiver Communications Within the Family

Communication goes on in many ways: exchange of thoughts, messages, or information, as by speech, signals, writing or behavior. It is no surprise that most families develop a special and unique communications style. When we talk to our family members, not only do we search for signs of love, but we also look for signs of disapproval. When families come together for making decisions about the care of their parent, they may need to develop or reframe their communication skills.


Here are five ways to improve family communications:


1. Realize the family is a hierarchical institution. There is power of a parent over a child, of an older brother or sister over a younger one. There are shifting alliances between siblings.

As the parent ages, there is a reversal of the roles of helper and helped, and this can be disconcerting. Strive to find the balance so that the needs of one person do not impinge on the actions of the other.


2. Understand the power of being a good listener. Whether you are the caregiver or care-receiver, in most families we want someone to listen to us and to really understand what we are thinking, understanding, and saying. It is not unusual for family members to realize they have never really known very much about real feelings and values of each other. When we concentrate more on listening attentively, our relationships improve, and so do our communications.


3. Learn to be a good speaker who can clearly express ideas and feelings AND help the listener to hear the message. You can improve your odds of getting your message across if you use I statements rather than You statements. A family member is more likely to continue conversation if you say, I feel upset when you _________ instead of You make me upset when you _____________.


4. Become a problem solver. This does not mean just coming up with the answer, it also means finding a solution. Be realistic in your expectations. Allow siblings to help in ways they are able. Keep them informed and included in the caregiving process.


5. Show appreciation and gratitude. Human nature tells us that people respond favorably to those who show them genuine appreciation and gratitude. Just a simple thank you or apology can go a long way. Make a decision to make a positive impact on those around you.


If poor family communication is hindering your decision making process, it may be a good idea to hold a family meeting with a formal decision making process. You may have to enlist the help of an outside facilitator.

Rebecca Colmer is an elder Care Advocate, Author, Speaker, Publisher, and Caregiver. You can find more caregiving tools and resources at her website:
Caregiving Tools

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Nanny / Babysitting Jobs – Challenge for Family and Caregiver

It is a well-known social phenomenon that changing parental work patterns have transformed our all-family life over the past 30 years. One of the most dramatic changes is the increased rate of paid employment among mothers with children. According to published data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the overall maternal labor force rose from 38 to almost 70 percent during the last 30 years and for mothers with youngest children below the age of 3, this rate rose from 24 to 57 percent. During this same period, the demand for non-parental child care increased dramatically, taking place in a variety of child care arrangements, including babysitters or nannies, family child care, care centers, au pair, family members, neighbors or friend child care arrangements, and other organized activities. Alone in the United States, a large percentage of the 35 million children and adolescents below the age of 14 with working parents are in an arrangement with a babysitter/nanny or an other type of childcare arrangement for an average of 22 to 40 hours a week. Child care is no longer simply a protective or remedial service for children from low-income or troubled families: it is an everyday arrangement for the majority of children in the United States and all other industrialized countries in the world.

There are quite a lot of social studies available determining the effects of child care on children’s cognitive and social functioning (see references below, to mention only a few of them). As a conclusion, if children and adolescents are exposed to high-quality care, their development can be significantly enhanced. However, it has also been shown that society has not taken full advantage of the opportunities of childcare provides. Many children and adolescents spend long hours, often at early ages, away from their parents in unstimulating, mediocre care, resulting in development delays and social disturbances. This conclusion of the social studies leads to a real challenge for the families in need of a childcare service, as well as for the caregiver themselves. Selecting the correct type of caregiver service for their actual situation is not an easy task for the family. There are a lot of services offered in local newspaper ads or the internet and the first question will be if you prefer a full time in-home solution, drop-in or part-time or an off-home solution (care center, all-day school programs, etc.). Whatever the decision will be, the selection of the day care center or the nanny/babysitter never should be performed without considering the children’s opinion. Especially small children have a very fine instinct and they will show you immediately if there is “chemistry” between the babysitter or nanny and the child or not. Definitely it will be not enough to hire a caregiver just by a phone interview or a five-minute talk in your office. In order to find out if the candidate fits well with your family it is essential to perform a personal interview at home, starting with the candidate and the parents and later on also involving the children. There are many reasons to accept or not to a accept a nanny or babysitter, all depends on what you are looking for. It might be important for you if the candidate is old or young, mature or in between, with college grade or even with master degree, short or tall, thin or heavy, white, black or latin, with or without religious background, etc. There are many factors that define an individual but the most important thing of all is that the nanny matches with your family. And also consider the following: The caregiver always should be seen as a person whose primary function is caring for the children. There are too many cases where babysitters or nannies are basically used as general housekeeper, making the beds of the parents, doing their laundry or cleaning toilets, etc. As a consequence, children often are “parked” in front of the TV for hours, instead of stimulating them performing creative activities like attending after-school events, reading books or helping with homework, just to mention a few of the possibilities. For a quality care of their children, it needs to be clear that first priority of the babysitter/nanny is taking care and stimulating the children and in second place realizing other activities like the participation in general housekeeper activities. Both, the family and the caregiver clearly should define this in a contract that will help to ensure that all of the terms and conditions are well understood.

References:
1) Working Families and Growing Kids: Caring for Children and Adolescents Eugene Smolensky and Jennifer Appleton Gootman, Editors, Committee on Family And Work Policies, National Research Council (2003).

2) Caring for America’s Children, Anne Meadows, Editor; Panel on Child Care Policy, National Research Council, National Academies Press (1991).

3) Brooks-Gunn, J., Berlin, L.J., and Fuligni, A.S. (2000). Early childhood intervention programs:
What about the family? In J.P. Shonkoff, and S.J. Meisels (Eds.), Handbook of
early childhood intervention, 2nd edition (pp. 549-588). New York: Cambridge.

4) Vernon-Feagans, L., Emanuel, D.C., and Blood, I. (1997). The effect of Otitis Media and
quality daycare on children’s language development. Journal of Applied Developmental
Psychology, 18, 395-409.

Oswald J. Eppers is manager of the consulting firm E&R InterConsult and founder of the Two-Approach Job Search Guide for easy and effective Job Searching and Career Assessment. Browse his Nanny Babysitting Job Database to find 1000+ published nanny job vacancies.

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Tips For Women Lending Money To Family Or Friends For Investments

Having raised three sons I can remember the words loud and clear, a, can I borrow a dollar? As they grew so did the amount. Never once in thirty-seven years did I plan on seeing any of that money I loaned to them again.


They are grown men now and wear the white cowboy hats of the family. If anyone of them requested funds there would be no questions asked because they have proven over and over their integrity, honesty and loyalty to us. And all three make quite a handsome income compared to their dear old parents.


Lending money is inherently an emotional situation for all parties involved and usually more so for the female member. It is a common practice for a female to be the caregiver and to please loved ones and friends.


There are other family members that wear the black cowboy hats and have caused much friction, disappointment and family rifts that have spread deep roots within the relations.


Holidays, graduations, births, baptisms and all other family gatherings can become strained.


A temporary crisis isnt always so temporary and can quickly become an uncomfortable situation if the lender has to ask for the money to be repaid. It’s the same rule as gambling: Don’t loan what you can’t afford to lose. If you don’t have cash lying around, a loan might not be feasible.


Everyone wants to be a good friend, but no one enjoys feeling like someone is taking advantage of their generosity. It is better not to lend and have a friend, than to lend and lose both. Therefore, as a couple we have set up rules for conducting successful financial transactions with friends and family. Perhaps they will help you also.


Tips To Consider Before Lending Money


If you are lending money to someone close to you and if you’re financially able, consider making it a gift rather than a loan. This way it will not be a burden upon your mind nor your heart. (If it is repaid fine, however, certain people in your life are special enough for this deed without them even knowing.)


To make collecting a debt easier and more comfortable for all use a service called PayPal. This makes it possible to send and receive payments online. With PayPal, you can send email reminders to the borrower. The lender can then get the money back instantly via email.


Never co-sign a loan or credit card application for someone else without clear, WRITTEN parameters and possible assets involved. And always maintain a business-like environment.


Don’t lend beyond your means. Only lend money that you do not need back immediately so as not to ruin your credit or your relationship with the borrower. And always have the agreement in writing.


These are the only four items that we could agree upon. Perhaps there are many more or far less for your family or situation. If we are approached for funds and feel uncomfortable with the person or we cannot accommodate within our plan, we decline and all associated go on with their lives.

Court provides information about student loan consolidation and helps people refine their strategic internet marketing.

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Advocate 101 For Family Caregivers – Talking With Physicians

Many family caregivers are thrust into a role for which they are ill-prepared. Meeting with medical professionals can be intimidating, as we live in a culture where doctors in white coats are seen as beyond reproach and are sometimes unapproachable. But as all family caregivers know, it is their job to ensure that the family members needs are seen to that person depends on their advocacy. Patients and caregivers often feel that physicians and medical professionals are too busy to hear their concerns. Below are a few tips to make sure so that you get the most out of your doctors visits. Before Your Appointment be prepared,have salient and detailed information for your physician. For example My father hasn`t been feeling well, is not as easy for a doctor to assess as my father has had a fever for two days that was over 100

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