Posts Tagged ‘Elder’

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Old Colony Elder Services Urges Elders Needing Home Care to Apply

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How to find a Los Angeles Elder Abuse Attorney

Elder abuse is defined as the negligence, mental, physical, financial or sexual abuse of seniors. Other abuses that take place are abandonment, isolation and neglect of a person who is frail and are less likely to be able to defend themselves. Thousands of vulnerable adults are assaulted and taken advantage of every day in the United States.

The best way to find an outstanding elder abuse lawyer is NOT by simply searching on the Internet. It is definitely not a wise decision to hire a lawyer just based on information you find on the web. Instead, you should use the services of a local lawyer referral service. For example, a Los Angeles lawyer referral service is the best way to go if you live in the area of Los Angeles. You should be looking for a Los Angeles elder abuse attorney and the best way to find one is through a local lawyer referral service. A local lawyer referral service can help you find a good local lawyer that that specializes in i.e. elder abuse claims.

A lawyer referral service helps in recommending lawyers to aid clients as they prepare to bring lawsuits (i.e. against perpetrators who abuse seniors). A lawyer referral service in Los Angeles will show you how to locate a good Los Angeles elder abuse lawyer to win the elder abuse case. Local is the key!

Elder abuse takes place in institutional settings or any place where a senior lives. Abuse can take place in a nursing home or in a family home by a family member. Preventing elder abuse can be as simple as knowing the signs of elder abuse, speaking up and report abuse to the proper authorities. The warning signs can be bruises, scratches or inappropriate use of physical restraint or medications. Poor hygiene, the senior being withdrawn, malnutrition, dehydration or medical conditions that go untreated are a few warning signs that family and caregivers need to be aware of.

Unusual bank activity, taking or retaining money and property that belongs to the dependent adult is financial abuse. This often happens when there is no power of attorney and scam artists take advantage of the situation. This can be done through threats of bodily harm or making promises that will not be kept by the perpetrator. In the case of physical abuse, the lawsuit will be against the person or institution that committed the abuse. If the lawsuit is financial then the goal will be to recoup financial losses. The caregiver of the elder who is being abused will be responsible for hiring of a good lawyer.

The term personal injury describes injury to the mind, emotions or body. It is a legal term and is different than injury to property. It will be important to prove negligence so that the highest allowable compensation will be awarded.

It is important to choose the most appropriate lawyer to present your case otherwise your chances of a positive outcome will be marginal. This is how to hire a good elder abuse lawyer in the Los Angeles area. Use the services of a Los Angeles lawyer referral service, let a professional organization find you the best lawyer for your case who specializes exactly in elder abuse law and is located in Los Angeles. There are several important steps that you do not want to do alone, especially if you have no experience in how to find a good lawyer for your case. The service of a lawyer referral is usually 100% free to the client.

If you need more information on how to hire a lawyer (i.e. an outstanding elder abuse lawyer) make sure you read these 5 Golden Rules at www.higherlegal.com.

Free California Bar certified Los Angeles personal injury lawyer referral service.

2029 Century Park East
Suite 1400
Los Angeles, CA 90067
Tel: 310.203.8888
Fax: 323.443.3600
Email: info@higherlegal.com

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Top Ten Elder Fraud Prevention Methods

We all want to protect our loved ones from danger, but it’s impossible to be with them every moment of the day. And unfortunate as it is, scam artists see your aging Mom or Dad as an easy target, knowing full well that elderly individuals are more likely to fall for their scams. Elder fraud often goes unreported, but it’s estimated that over $40 billion is stolen from America’s seniors every year (1), and, due to a lack of proper senior citizen fraud protection in place, this figure is increasing. Families and friends are fighting back and providing their loved ones with senior citizen fraud protection tips and tools to combat these elder fraud scam artists.

‘If it’s too good to be true, then it probably is’ rings true in many instances. Law enforcement agencies often remark on just how difficult it is to bring elder fraud perpetrators to justice – once an investigator has begun looking into the scheme, the scammers are already moving on to another ploy. There’s just no way to catch them all, which means it’s up to you to help your parents understand and implement senior citizen fraud protection tactics and be on the lookout for people who wish to do them, their property, or their savings significant harm.

How can you help your parents fight back against elder fraud? Aside from a quick lesson in senior citizen fraud protection, a handy cheat sheet by all the phones or computers in the home is often the best way to avoid these common elder fraud tricks, which include the following top ten ways to beat the bad guys.

What to Include on Your Senior Citizen Fraud Protection Cheat Sheet

1. Avoid sending money or providing personal financial information. Be cautious who you disclose your bank account, credit card, and social security numbers to. Suspicious, but realistic looking checks made out for a considerable amount of money should be an elder fraud red flag. Your parents should know that if they weren’t expecting a check, it could be a fake. Tell your loved ones if they have concerns related to this type of senior citizen fraud that protection comes from asking someone they trust for help. Checks such as these are usually accompanied with directions instructing the recipient to call a phone number. The message tells the caller to send taxes on the money he or she just received through a wire transfer service. The scam, of course, is that once the recipient sends the money, their check bounces.

2. Do not speak at length with people who are unfamiliar to you – tell your parents to decline answering questions of a private matter over the phone, Internet, or at the door. Above all, the key to senior citizen fraud protection is caution. If a telemarketer who is pushing a product begins asking for too much information, tell your loved one to request the name of his or her employer, the address, and a phone number. If a caller asks to speak to the man of the house and there isn’t one, tell your mother never to indicate that she lives alone.

3. Do not sign any documents without reviewing them carefully. Your loved one can often be signed up for something he or she may not be interested in and begin receiving phone calls that solicit other products. If anything appears suspect, tell your loved one to contact his or her lawyer or a trusted friend immediately. Many elder fraud con artists will pose as door-to-door salesmen and try to sell your loved one something on the spot, introducing multiple new products and a whirl of paperwork that needs to be signed now and paid for to ’secure’ it. This potential elder fraud ploy is dangerous, because the friendly salesman is no longer some distant threat with no face; he appears to be knowledgeable and trustworthy. Tell your parents one of the most important senior citizen fraud protection tools available to them is not to allow anyone into the home they don’t know.

4. Make sure to verify all claims. One of the newest elder fraud alerts is related to home construction or improvement, and much like any other industry, scams abound. The best senior citizen fraud protection tip in this instance is to use a well-known contractor in the area. Tell your parents to request references and contact the Better Business Bureau or the National Fraud Information Center if they’re unsure. Create a contract and make sure the work is carried out to the letter; a fly-by-night scheme will probably try to talk down the contract, but if it’s in writing, your loved one ultimately has more recourse. And if the contractor wants the money upfront, tell your loved one to move on to the next choice.

5. Reach out for help before investing or spending considerable amounts of money. Tell your loved one to call you with questions about any investment that involves a significant transfer of money or shares. In many cases, the AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) can be a lifesaver; this organization regularly sends out information on the latest elder fraud schemes and offers senior citizen fraud protection tips as well as financial planning assistance and consumer rights, all of which can help your parents judiciously decide on various offers and purchases.

6. Shred all bills, notices, and personal mail before throwing them away. Information regarding your loved one’s financial situation is often retrieved by con artists from discarded mail that is not shredded (also known as ‘dumpster diving’). It’s all too easy for elder fraud scammers to get bank account and credit card numbers from statements as well as details on safe deposit boxes, ATM cards, addresses, phone numbers, social security numbers, and more. Remind your loved one that one of the most important senior citizen fraud protection tips is to tear up all mail before throwing it away. Or, better yet, give him or her the gift of a paper shredder!

7. Recognize predatory lending practices. This senior financial abuse and elder fraud practice, also known as loan fraud, is often perpetrated by mortgage brokers, appraisers, and home contractors looking for a quick buck. Seniors approach these seemingly knowledgeable individuals looking to refinance their homes, but are bombarded by fast-talking scammers who incorporate a must-act clause into the deal. In the end, your loved one will walk away with a high-cost loan with exorbitant fees totaling more than 5% of the entire amount. When talking with your loved one about predatory lending and senior citizen fraud protection tips, remind him or her that other tricks include pre-payment penalties, ‘flipping’ (when a loan is refinanced to generate fee income without providing any net tangible benefit to the borrower), mandatory arbitration, and other unnecessary additions. Don’t let your parents make this decision alone; help them be more informed consumers.

8. Avoid health insurance scams by identifying the red flags. Many lower income seniors rely on their Medicare health insurance, which is why many elder fraud scams originate here. Often, less-than-reputable medical equipment companies target seniors, offering free supplies in return for their Medicare numbers. Tell your loved one that the doctor must order and sign for all equipment and products before Medicare will pay for it. Remind your parents of the most important senior citizen fraud protection tips when it comes to health insurance, including never signing blank insurance claim forms, never providing unchecked medical authorization for billing purposes, always reviewing Medicare’s payment terms closely, never giving out their Medicare numbers to someone they don’t know, and verifying with their physician if they are unsure of a product or equipment that’s been ordered.

9. Bypass the ‘Sucker List’ altogether. Many seniors are eager to win something and often enter numerous sweepstakes, sign up for free magazines, or register for contests. Companies with elder fraud scam artists will keep records of these submissions, meaning your loved ones could end up on what is called the ‘Sucker List,’ making your parents that much more of an elder fraud target. This list usually contains not only people who the scammers believe to be a good target, but have already been successfully targeted before.

10. Just hang up. Scammers know that senior citizens are more polite, more trusting, and a lot less likely to hang up when the call becomes personal; unfortunately, elder fraud con artists take full advantage of this fact. Tell your loved one that if he or she doesn’t know the caller and questions regarding financial or personal matters come up, they can simply hang up on the caller with no questions asked. Hanging up is one of the simplest senior citizen fraud protection methods.

An Ounce of Prevention…

If your loved one has been a victim of elder fraud, please urge them to report it to the proper authorities. Falling for a scam is embarrassing to many seniors, making it one of the most under reported crimes. Their assistance in the matter can help bring con artists to justice and perhaps inspire other seniors to implement better methods of senior citizen fraud protection.

Another invaluable senior citizen fraud protection tool is helping your loved one sign up for the national ‘do not call’ registry to prevent harassing telemarketer calls. It’s a free service, and you can either call 888-382-1222 or register online at www.donotcall.gov. Another website that offers helpful senior citizen fraud protection tips of its own – www.fraud.org/elderfraud – helps fight against con artists by posting regular updates and information. Walking your loved one through potential elder fraud scenarios is as helpful as checking in regularly to go over financial transactions, bills, and emails as well as posting (in plain sight) the senior citizen fraud protection tips outlined above.

Ultimately, the only way to prevent elder fraud is through education, and this requires you to be firm on the subject, providing an insightful look into the various methods of senior citizen fraud protection. Caution is always the key to protection, and your loved one should be provided with a list of helpful sources to contact for additional information, including the National Consumer League’s Fraud Center, AARP, the Better Business Bureau, and Consumer Action. Above all, make sure your loved one always knows who he or she is dealing with in the course of transactions or investments. And, as always, it’s important to remember that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of ‘cure.’

Sources

1. http://www.fraud.org/elderfraud/eldproj.htm

Jill Gilbert is the President and CEO of Gilbert Guide, a website and comprehensive housing guide dedicated to solving the challenges of aging for parents and families and developing a working senior care plan. Jill brings extensive business experience to Gilbert Guide, authoring “Leading by Example,” a monthly column in McKnight’s Long-Term Care News, the chief industry publication for long-term care providers. She is currently working on a new book, Gilbert Guide to Senior Housing (Penguin/Alpha Books, 2009), and has been interviewed for a CBS News special, was a key presenter at the Pennsylvania Assisted Living Association’s annual conference, and was recently interviewed on San Francisco TalkBack. Jill has been quoted in numerous publications, including The San Francisco Chronicle and The Dallas Morning News. For more information on quality senior care services, please visit www.GilbertGuide.com.

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Understanding Elder abuse

Understanding Elder Abuse

Kanshi Ram , a homeless,

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Home Health Care v.s. Facility Placement : Options in Elder Care

It always makes me sad to hear the families of an elder say ?Mom made me promise to never put her in a nursing home?. That is simply a promise that most families today cannot keep. If a caring son or daughter finds that they have to break that promise, they may feel guilty for the rest of their lives. Mom probably asked for that promise because the nursing homes she remembers were dark, institutional places which would be considered substandard in America today. Today?s family structure and the financial challenges of elder care, make facility living a very common choice. When an elder shows signs of not being able to perform the basic activities of daily living, families or concerned professionals must step in. It is actually against most state laws for a professional to be aware of an elder in trouble without taking some reasonable action to secure their safety. There are many indicators that an elder is no longer safe at home alone. The basic litmus test is to ask yourself is: ?Could this person save him or herself if their home were on fire? Would they be able to call 911 and communicate their exact location? If left alone for any period of time are they at risk for physical abuse or financial exploitation? Do they have the skills and resources to meet their daily hygiene and nutritional needs? The answer is ?NO? for many American elders who live home alone.


Independence vs. Isolation


Many of my elderly clients who were trying so hard to maintain their independence by living alone at home actually maintained nothing more than an isolated existence punctuated by the occasionally call or visit from friends and family. This type of isolation was also coupled with medication errors or abuse, self neglect and unsanitary housekeeping. A person living in this situation will often ?bloom like a flower? in the right retirement facility environment. It is amazing what three hot meals a days, social interaction, clean sheets and regular administration of medications can do for a person?s mind, body and spirit. A person who lives alone is more likely to fall and lay alone on the floor for days without being found. A person, who lives alone may make poor choices such as keeping, (or worse,) spoiled food in the refrigerator. If a person lives alone, there are many signs of illness that no one will notice during sporadic short visits. Medical appointments may be missed and prescriptions left unfilled. Many people feel that they are honoring their aging loved one by letting them live alone, even though all the tell tale signs of self neglect are apparent. There is no honor or dignity in being found on the floor after one has laid in their own excrement for three days. Unfortunately, many families will wait for this type of incident before insisting on either home health care or facility placement. If an elder is physically or verbally abusive to family and care givers, they are much more likely to be left alone to make their own decisions, regardless of how dysfunctional their situation may be. Elders with difficult personalities are many times more likely to be abused by caregivers. They need more supervision, not less.


American Family Dynamics and the Pressures of Today?s World


I hear people say ?Americans don?t take care of their elders like other countries do?. Well that is not my experience. The adult children who consult with Geriatric Care Manager or other eldercare professionals are very concerned about their parents. They love them and they want the best care their money can buy. That?s the clincher: what their money can buy. In America, caregivers, maids, etc,, are expensive. Perhaps in another country where slave labor is commonplace, people can afford plenty of care. But in this country it costs $12.00 per hour (or more) for a home health aide. At eight hours per day, that is $96.00 per day. That is $2,880 per month or $34,560 per year ? more than the average working American earns per year. The average woman gets a social security check of less than $500.00 per month. Do the math and you will soon see that unless you are wealthy, many people cannot afford to keep their elders in their own home with a part time caregiver or even in their children?s home with a caregiver.


Now couple this financial problem with another very real problem. Most middle income women in their fifties, who are caring for their elderly parents, are also trying to hold down a job, help their young-adult children and maintain a marriage. If a middle income woman stops working to care for her parents, she and her husband either cannot pay their bills or they must significantly reduce their standard of living. I know a few husbands who are fifty-something and feel they have worked too hard and too long to have their dreams of retirement evaporate because someone else?s needs are suddenly more important than their own. Now that Americans have come to grips with the concept that it takes two incomes to live well in this country, they are more determined than ever to have a retirement. Paying $35,000 per year for a caregiver can take a huge chunk out of the retirement savings. Frankly, most people couldn?t afford to do it even if they wanted to. Because most Americans? net worth is in the equity of their home, selling the family home is the most common way to finance elder care services. If the family home sells for $100,000.00 and the average cost of an Assisted Living Residence is $36,000.00 per year, an elder can afford to live in that Assisted Living for 2.7 years. Coincidently, the average amount of time a person lives in an Assisted Living before moving on to a nursing home is 2.5 years.


Many adult children, who do have the desire and financial means to bring their elders to live with them, still cannot. They cannot because the medical or psychological needs of the elder are beyond their capacity to manage. For example, if Grandma is sweet and docile by day, but ?sundowns? or grows agitated as evening falls, this poses a difficult problem for the caring family. When some people experience dementia or other medical issues, they may stay awake all night. They sometimes wander out of doors or rummage through drawers and closets. This behavior will keep the whole family awake at night. If a working family cannot sleep at night, this situation will become intolerable very quickly. Some adult children have been raised by violent, aggressive parents who are now violent aggressive elders. Children who have been raised under these conditions need not feel obligated to bring their parents to live with them, despite the pressure they may get from outsiders who do not know the real story.


Elders and their families who are trying to make difficult choices about elder care benefit from a professional assessment from a geriatric specialist. Professional care managers can offer an objective opinion based on a clinical evaluation of the physical and cognitive status of the elder. Physicians, hospital case managers, facility admissions coordinators and social workers can also offer advice about appropriate placement of an elder or even suggest how to set up services in the home to best meet the elder?s needs.


Home Health Care ? Stay Home without Being Alone


At the very least, any elder living alone should have a medical alert system. This is a necklace or wrist band with a panic button that can be pushed in case of emergency. If the button is pushed a dispatch center receives the signal and makes and attempt to communicate with the elder through a speaker placed in the home. If the elder needs help or does not respond to attempts to communicate, emergency services will be dispatched to the home. Many services will also contact friends and family to notify them that assistance is needed. A good candidate for this device is one WHO DOES NOT have memory loss as memory loss makes it difficult to learn to operate new appliances.


There are two basic types of home health care services: Medicare and Private Duty:


Medicare Home Health is free but can only be accessed if ordered a physician. Medicare will only authorize the free home health services if specific events have happened such as a recent hospitalization lasting three or more days, or a recent change in health status, etc. Medicare will send a Registered Nurse to evaluate the elder and that nurse decides if other professionals such as physical therapists, social workers, dieticians, etc. should perform evaluations. Each professional will determine what services they will render and for how long. Medicare services are temporary in nature and are not offered on a full time basis. The average visit by the nurse, aide and therapist is less than one hour each. Even Medicare home health aides only stay long enough to bathe and dress the patient.


Private Duty Home Health can be arranged on a full time, part time or live- in basis. Many Long Term Care Insurance policies will pay for home health care. The amount of care one can get and the duration of the services varies depending upon which policy they purchased. If someone does not have insurance, they must pay out of pocket (or private pay) for any services. Typically a private home care agency will offer services at a minimum of four hours per day. Typical eight hour shifts are 7am-3pm, 3pm-11pm and 11pm ? 7am. Many elders complain that an agency sends them a different caregiver each day. In order to avoid having the same aide, that as much as possible, order care every day for at least eight hours. This will allow the agency to schedule the same person for all your shifts. Because labor laws do apply and the agency would have to pay overtime for time which exceeds 40 hours per week, you will most likely have at least two to three caregivers on a full time case. The average hourly rate is $14.00 per hour. A live-in will cost about $150.00 per day. A live-in lives in your home and drives your car (or theirs for a mileage fee) and you are expected to feed them as well, even if you go out to dinner. By law, a live- in is entitled to two hours per day of free time. They can do what ever they like, including leaving the house during their break. If this arrangement will not work for your situation, consider hiring an aide around the clock. Around the clock care is typically delivered in two twelve hour shifts which are done by two different caregivers.


One aide comes to the home from 8am until 8pm and is relieved by the second caregiver at 8pm until 8am. Around the clock care can be delivered in many schedule formats. A live- in is expected to have their own private bedroom and bathroom although many agencies are flexible on this issue. The live- in is expected to be awake all day and have at least 7 hours of sleep at night. If the elder does not sleep at night, a live- in arrangement will not work. One option is to have the live in ($150/day) plus hire a caregiver to come to the house and stay up all night with the elder ($14.00. hour for eight nighttime hours). This costs $112 + $150= $262.00 per day. The only other alternative is to have around- the- clock care which will cost $14.00/hr X 24 hr=$336/day. Adding the eight hour night shift to the live in, saves about $3,000 per month. The Veterans Aid and Attendance Pension is available to qualified veterans who need a caregiver in their home on a regular basis.


Types of Adult Housing and Facilities:


Independent Living Facilities usually offer small apartments with some meals included in the price. A person who lives in an Independent Living Facility is expected to manage their daily care needs on their own, but the staff would readily recognize if needs increased and assist the resident in obtaining the needed help. Some facilities have extra care services available for additional charge to help the resident ?age in place.? Others may ask a resident to move out if their needs exceed the scope of that particular facility. Limited transportation is usually provided although many residents are still driving when they enter an Independent Living Facility. These facilities may cost anywhere from less than $1,000 per month to over $5,000 per month depending upon the luxury amenities and location.


Assisted Living Facilities usually offer hotel size rooms with the option to share a room or pay extra for a private room. Three meals and snacks are usually provided as part of the price. Residents are expected to need some assistance with their daily care needs. Medication administration is strictly supervised. The State laws dictate who can live in an Assisted Living. The State does not want Assisted Living facilities to house nursing home candidates or Nursing Homes to admit people who could function just as well in an Assisted Living Facility. Assisted Living residents must be able to walk and transfer ( from bed to chair or chair to standing) with the assistance of only one other person. An Assisted Living resident can be left alone in their room for two hours or more. Nurses aides are on duty around the clock. Registered nurses or Licensed Practical Nurses are on duty at least during the daytime. Many medical services may make rounds and visit residents at least monthly. It is not uncommon for an Assisted Living resident to never have to leave the building for a medical or beauty appointment. Prices may range from under $1200/month to over $8,000/ month, once again depending upon the amenities. Medicaid has a program called the Medicaid Waiver which can pay part of the cost of the Assisted Living. However, funds have been historically limited and waiting lists can be long. The Veteran Aide and Attendance Pension is designed to financially assist qualified veterans who need the services of an Assisted Living facility


Dementia Specific Facilities are designed especially for the memory impaired resident. The building, floorplan, furnishings, d

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The Elder Scrolls Iv: Oblivion Review

When The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion was released for the Xbox 360 in 2006, it was considered by many to be the best role playing game of the year. Fortunately, PlayStation 3 owners will now be able to delve into the world of Tamriel. Oblivion is based on a user created character that is immersed in a world of tyranny. The gamers role is to find an heir to the throne because the previous heir was murdered. As a result, the gates to the Oblivion open. Consequently, nefarious demons come from these gates and attack innocent civilians. Players must find a way to find the heir and prevent the destruction of Tamriel. The game starts by customizing your character from the ground up. This entails race, gender, class, and attributes (ala Jade Empire). A few of the classes include thieves, warriors, and wizards. Each class has their own pros and cons. For instance, a thief will be proficient in pilfering items. A warrior will be an amazing fighter, and a wizard will be a brilliant spell caster. The gameplay is where Oblivion really shines. It is more than a linear role playing game. One element of the game that sticks out like a sore thumb is the exploration. There are a plethora of video games that give you an objective, and you have to see it through until the end. That is not the case with Oblivion. Players are in control of when they want to further the main storyline. In regards to the main storyline, you will be encountering a myriad of malicious monsters that want to crush Tamriel.

Gamers can follow the main plot, or they can fool around with the seemingly endless character interactions. What would a role playing game be without side-quests? Nothing. Luckily, Oblivion does a remarkable job of giving you a laundry list of optional missions to complete. One of the optional missions can be to retrieve an item. But it is not as rudimentary as that. While recovering the item, you might be ambushed by some thugs or creatures. I would spend so much time away from the main storyline that I forgot all about it. Secret caves and dungeons are places that are scattered throughout the world of Oblivion. The combat in Oblivion feels more like a first person shooter than a true role playing game. You can attack with various magic spells, swords, arrows, and so much more. For example, gamers can assail a foe from afar with magic or arrows. After that, they can close in on their opponent with a sword attack. Having versatile combat like that is unprecedented for a role playing game. Sometimes you do not even have to fight. Stealth can be utilized in order to circumvent your way through the next stage in the game. The audio in the game is not bad. The sounds of weapons hitting against each other do sound realistic. All of the dialogue in the game is spoken. In contrast to the lifeless reading of text in role playing games like Zelda and Final Fantasy. Conversely, many of the same voices are used for multiple characters. The visuals in Oblivion on the PlayStation 3 are marginally better than on the Xbox 360. Frame rate flaws on the PlayStation 3 edition are slim when compared to the Xbox 360 iteration. Loading screens are no longer a concern with the release of the game on the PlayStation 3. If anyone came across a loading screen in the Xbox 360 adaptation of the game, he or she could have more than enough time to make a sandwich and eat it. Unlike the Xbox 360 version, there is minimal load times throughout the duration of Oblivion on the PlayStation 3. Overall, Oblivion is an epic role playing game from beginning to end. Over forty hours of gameplay is well worth anyone?s time.

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How to Drive Your Elder Parent Crazy in Five Easy Steps

Many older adults are in fear of living ?past their savings?. Elder care services, whether delivered at home or within a facility setting are quite expensive and so many families are forced to provide this care for one another.

Most adult children will readily jump in to help when ?the time comes.? Translation ? a crisis occurs ? a fall, a stroke, a heart attack, a broken hip…

Discussing ahead of time what each (the adult child and the older parent) would define as ?help? has not occurred. Consequently, assumptions are made and those assumptions can drive the entire family crazy.

The following five steps are in jest but should drive home the need to openly discuss with your loved ones what you are capable of doing, what your limitations are, what you are not willing or able to do (and so forth) with your parent. Your parent must also have the opportunity to relay what he or she expects from you. This discussion is most productive if explored before the ?crisis?.

Step One ? Assume the Parental Role

From now on, you are in charge ? what your parent wants no longer matters ? because you know best! Change as much as possible; rearrange the furniture, throw things out without permission, and completely revise all daily routines.

Question every move your parent makes. Question every decision your parent makes. Instill a daily routine that when they ?obey your wishes? you will feel safe knowing exactly what your parent is doing and where he or she is at all times.

When your parent begins to stand up from a sitting position, say things like, ?Where are you going?? or ?Sit! Tell me what you need, I?ll get it for you!? This works best if you use the authoritative ?parenting voice?.

Step Two ? Completely Change Their Diet

You are a healthy baby-boomer and have been eating a healthy diet for years. Your parents still have a pot of grease on the stove top drained from the morning bacon. You haven?t eaten canned vegetables or fruits since you lived at home, you prefer fresh and organic. Now that you?re in charge ? you can make your parents healthy.

Take over the shopping. It doesn?t matter if your parents give you a list ? you know best. Shop for them like you shop for yourself. Make them eat their five servings of fresh fruit and vegetables every day. Cut down or eliminate on meat consumption, no more bacon, meatloaf, fried potatoes, canned corn and gravy.

When your parents complain, just reply, ?I?m going to get you healthy again!? and then completely ignore any other objections they may have, you are after all, in charge.

Step Three ? Talk Down to Them and About Them

Begin using a ?sing-song? voice and speak to your parent as though they were two years old. If you?ve always called your mother ?Mom? and your father ?Dad? now is the time to start calling them ?Mommy? or ?Daddy?.

When you are at their home and another sibling or other person comes to visit, talk about your parents, in front of them, and pretend they can?t either hear you or understand you. Make sure you discuss private and potentially embarrassing things. Say something like, ?Daddy is doing okay today, we?ve been able to get him to the bathroom on time and so far, knock on wood, no accidents.? Or try this, ?Mommy is not feeling so well today, she wouldn?t even let me help her take a bath.?

Step Four ? Intercede all Communications

You decide what mail your parents will read and what is thrown out before they see it. You grab the phone when it rings and before you hand it over to your parent, you screen the call. If it?s a relative, friend or neighbor of your parent, be certain to provide a quick update on how your parent is doing ? before you hand the phone over.

You decide who can visit and who can?t. You determine which visitors may prove to be upsetting and you make up the excuses as to why a visit isn?t a good idea at the moment.

When your parents question you, simply say, ?Daddy, I?m just trying to protect you.? Make sure you use your parenting voice.

Step Five ? Over Extend Yourself

Assume that you are the only person on this planet that can provide the proper care for your loved ones. No one else could possibly do the job as well as you. Meanwhile, allow the rest of your life to suffer. You will quickly become exhausted and stressed.

When your parent lovingly says, ?You look tired honey, are you okay?? This is your cue to SNAP! Be as indignant as possible and use your ?outside voice? and exclaim, ?Yes! I?m exhausted. Look at what I?m doing ? (and then proceed to rattle off each and every daily item that you attend to followed with) and on top of that, I?m here cleaning up after you and making sure you?re okay!?

Founder and president of Senior Approved Services advocating for the right of all seniors to receive excellent care.

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Elder Abuse

From: New York attorney Gary E. Rosenberg (personal injury and accident attorney and lawyer; serving Brooklyn Queens Bronx; Brooklyn Accident Lawyer) My friend’s mother passed away at home recently. Now this is not one of those tales of a senior citizen beaten or hurt or injured by a her home health care givers. This story presents a different kind of horror, one of theft. There are many ways to cheat the elderly, and some are legend. There’s the young woman who pretends a romantic interest to obtain an older man’s home and money; older homeowners ripped off by home-improvement con men; and elderly people who may sign papers without understanding them, permitting his or her bank account to be emptied by a new “friend.” Many of these crimes go unreported. In the case of my good friend’s mother, she was robbed, pure and simple. She was cleaned out. All her jewelry taken. Even stolen was a bottle of perfume that my friend had bought his mother for Christmas. Was she robbed before she died, or after she was taken to the hospital where she quickly passed away? More than one care giver had her keys, and that presented a problem. Unless caught red-handed, these crimes are near impossible to solve. My friend’s mother had lovely jewelry, and she even had a safe. But she was old and her hands unsteady and vision poor, so she couldn’t be bothered putting away her valuables and taking them out to wear. She was unwilling to give them to her children to safeguard because, well, these were her possessions and she wanted them and their memories around her, even though her daughter and granddaughter lived nearby and visited her almost daily. So what to do? How do we protect senior citizens or the vulnerable from abuse and theft? If you hire a home health aide through an agency, make sure it conducts background checks of its employees. If you hire privately, there are ways to conduct your own criminal background check – just look in the telephone book. One can install video cameras in the house with an Internet feed to watch that the older loved one is not abused or robbed. But people tend to keep their valuables in their bedroom, and no older person trying to live at home to retain their independence is likely to consent to that level of invasion of privacy. There is no simple answer, except, perhaps, increased vigilance. For more information, contact the New York State Office for the Aging Senior Citizen’s Help Line at 1-800-342-9871 or go to its website: www.aging.ny.gov

FREE books & reports! Get more information about New York car accidents and personal injury by requesting attorney & author Gary Rosenberg’s FREE books: ?Warning! Things That Can Destroy Your Car Accident Case (And the Insurance Companies Already Know These Things)? and ?Good Lawyers Don?t Call You First? at http://www.greatlegalbooks.com . For more information and FREE reports, visit http://www.garyrosenberg-law.com/freelibrary.html .

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