Posts Tagged ‘Dealing’

Caring For The Elderly – Dealing With The Stressful Job

Taking care of an elderly person is stressful to say the least. By the time you accept the fact that you are required to take care of the aging parent, your help is urgently needed. You have some catching up to do in the role of a primary caregiver to your elderly parent, in the form of controlling their finances and lifestyle and taking stock of their medical situation.

Very often, neither the caregiver nor the person being cared for has volunteered for the job. The caregiver may not like to be burdened with the additional responsibility. The senior citizen may be hostile, resistant or downright disagreeable causing much stress to both the individuals involved. Since these may be your parents you are taking care of, you are used to obeying their instructions. But since the roles have now been reversed, the fact is difficult to accept for both, the parent and the child.

You may have certain expectations from your siblings or your own high standards. When these expectations are not met, it leads to frustration. As a caregiver, one has to learn to compromise. Your parents may need constant attention which you may not be in a position to provide. Realistically speaking, spending as much time as possible with your aged parents after taking care of your family, your job, housework and yourself, would be a reasonable expectation.

The individual entrusted with the role of primary caregiver must recognize that the stress levels in his life will increase. Stress is deemed to be one of the major causes of mental or physical health problems in adults. When stress levels begin to overwhelm you and become difficult to cope, you may end up with health problems of your own. This is not the best of situations, as this will affect you as well as the person being cared for and even the rest of the family.

It is a struggle for one person to manage the job of looking after the aged parents. The family of the caregiver should be supportive and involve themselves in the activity as much as possible, to share the burden. If you are not living close to your aged parents, and your sibling is looking after them, make efforts to help out as much as possible by calling up the parents regularly or helping in any other way you can. Avoid nagging suggestions to the caregiver, even though they may be meant for the good of the parents. Make sure to communicate your gratefulness and support to your sibling so that he or she is not made to feel alone in this endeavor.

As an individual, you can deal with the stress levels yourself. Your aged parents depend on you, being the primary caregiver. So it is as much your duty to take care of yourself for their sake. This way you can be a better caregiver, lead a stress free life and take care of all your responsibilities as well. This should be the healthy approach to elderly care, if it is to be long term responsibility that you will need to fulfill.

Abhishek successfully runs an Old Age Home and he has got some great Eldercare Secrets up his sleeves! Download his FREE 80 Pages Ebook, “How To Take Great Care Of Elders” from his website http://www.Senior-Guides.com/560/index.htm . Only limited Free Copies available.

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The life of a caregiver would be very easy if he had only to do the chores and paperwork for the elderly parents. This would not be an issue if the caregiver’s role was limited to this aspect. The job of taking care of the elderly is stressful to say the least. It brings about an emotional drain on the caregiver as well as the aged parent. It is assumed by both the sides that the care giving relationship is based on offering a large favor. Under the circumstances, guilt plays an important role in every element of care giving.

The senior citizen feels guilty for asking you to help out with their daily needs. In most cases, the care giver volunteered help, even though they did not ask for it. You as the caregiver, watching the situation may have intervened once you saw your parents need help in getting their life back on track. The elderly parents therefore, feel that you are spending vast amounts of your time tending to them instead of spending it with your family, or going to work. They feel guilty for imposing on your time.

The changes that the older adults face in terms of role reversals, dependency on their children or the loss of a spouse can be very difficult to cope. They feel guilty that they have ceased to be useful to anyone in any way and this increases their feeling of worthlessness. Their pillars of existence and the ideas of life in general begin to disappear. Simple things like driving around or even walking become an ordeal. They then begin to feel that had they not grown old, this would not have happened, a manifestation of guilt.

Guilt pangs are an issue with the care giver too. The constant thought of not doing enough, that certain things could have been done better is always creating these feelings of guilt. To worsen the situation the elders themselves may inflict guilt on you by complaining about their lives and not being satisfied or getting angry.

Guilt does not help improve the relationship nor does it improve the quality of life. So what does one do about this guilt running high in everyone’s emotions? To stop feeling guilty is a positive step for every body. The best option would be to sit down and talk about it. Convince your parent that they need not feel guilty for taking your help, and it is not their fault that they are getting old. They too had their share of sacrifices to make when you were a child needing support.

By confronting the issue of guilt, you can avoid it affecting your relationship with the elderly parent. You should learn to avoid the guilty feelings and thus pave the way to a healthy care giver and elder relationship. Feeling guilty about things helps no one and hence these feelings are best avoided.

Abhishek successfully runs an Old Age Home and he has got some great Eldercare Secrets up his sleeves! Download his FREE 80 Pages Ebook, “How To Take Great Care Of Elders” from his website http://www.Senior-Guides.com/560/index.htm . Only limited Free Copies available.

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Dealing With Stressful Caregiving – Overcoming Resentment!

The role of a caregiver for your aged parents can be compared to fighting a battle of sorts. This becomes even more obvious in case you are caring for a terminally ill patient. You are fighting a losing battle and it will end with the passing away of your loved one. However, you are dedicated to their well being, health and happiness as much as is humanly possible so that you can make their last days as comfortable and peaceful as you can.

Your fight in this battle would be with the struggles to keep up with the medication schedules, the prescriptions and the frequency of the dosage. Another enemy you may have to face is the financial concerns. With the costs of rent, food and medical care skyrocketing, you have the constant worry of managing the funds to keep the bills paid. These are daily battles with the enemies.

The greatest enemy however, is not any of those mentioned earlier. It is not the economy or the nursing home of your mom or dad, or even any concern with your elderly parents. The biggest enemy the caregiver has to fight against is resentment. Resentment is an emotion that will hurt you as an individual and will not work well for the elderly in your care.

Resentment begins to build up in your mind even before you know what is happening. You begin to brood about little things and this hampers your ability and willingness to do the best you can for your elderly parents. Losing you as the primary caregiver is the worst situation that can happen to your ageing parents because they are totally dependent on you.

Resentment can take many forms. Some resentment may be towards the system in general. The social security and Medicare systems are changing constantly and becoming more and more complex. There may be some resentment towards the facility where your parents are residing when you feel they do not provide the necessary care to your elderly parents.

The worst kind of resentment is the one against siblings or even against the ageing parent. This is a serious problem, one that becomes so deep-rooted that it changes your perception towards your loved ones and hinders your ability to care for them. It is very easy to be overcome by the resentment towards the siblings because you may feel that the role of primary caregiver has been loaded upon you just because the others were not nearby to take the responsibility. Most often, the elderly parent appears to be demanding and ungrateful, which is the reason for your resentment towards them.

In order to overcome resentment, you have to focus your mind on the reason you are fulfilling your responsibility as a primary caregiver. You have undertaken the responsibility not for your parents or your sibling’s sake, but because it is the right thing to do. You are performing your duty because your parents have taken great pains and made sacrifices to bring you up and look after you. In a way, you are trying to repay a debt which can never be repaid, in your own small way. As long as you focus on the real purpose of the mission, you can keep resentment at bay.

Abhishek successfully runs an Old Age Home and he has got some great Eldercare Secrets up his sleeves! Download his FREE 80 Pages Ebook, “How To Take Great Care Of Elders” from his website http://www.Senior-Guides.com/560/index.htm . Only limited Free Copies available.

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