Posts Tagged ‘Caregiving’

No woman would ever deny care to children, family members or parents. That is because most of us are natural born caregivers. But who cares for us when we are older and need care?


We grow up and have children. Depending on the timing of the blessed event, we have either completed our education and are working in a reasonably well paid job or we had children prior to completing education and beginning a career. Strike one.


From the day we are born we are taught that women grow up, marry and have children. We are brainwashed into believing that this is what is expected of us and this is what will naturally occur. What no one tells us is that by having children and taking ourselves out of the workforce, we willingly give up years of earning, years of contributing to social security and years of contributing to our own retirement and our own independence.


Where are the men all of these years? They are working to protect their own years of earning, contributing to social security and building up a retirement nest egg to take care of them when they retire. No one is thinking of women during this time and of the compensation they are due for making this sacrifice that will affect them when they are older. Society does not address these issues. If they did there would be many less children born today.


So after the children are born, many women re-enter the workforce. Strike two. We fail to realize how difficult it is to regain the same position, income level or status we left. In many cases our skills and education are outdated and the positions we qualify for pay less. In some cases we must return to school to educate ourselves further. Who pays for this?


Additionally, if we have relied on a husband to provide for us during child raising years, and our focus was on children instead of the relationship with our husband, we may be on our way to divorce. Strike three.Now we not only have to support ourselves, we have to support our children, to provide housing, education etc. and our children grow up in a disadvantaged situation.


Life becomes more difficult and more complicated and many women struggle to just get by. This leaves no time for retirement planning, savings and all of the other things men take for granted because they have few, if any, responsibilities. How many women willingly give possession of their children to their husbands during divorce? Not many. How much time do most divorced men spend with their children? Not much. Life becomes a daily uphill battle for women.


Most women at retirement age are at financial risk of not being able to take care of themselves. When you walk into any nursing home in America today, who do you see? You see women. Women live longer than men, earn less and have less income to carry them through retirement years.


If you are a woman, single, married, divorced, widowed, with children or without children you must wake up to the realization that regardless of your current situation you must prepare to take care of yourself financially, mentally and physically. Become more selfish, give up less. Start now. Contact industry professionals who can support you in your desire to become independent. Obtain more education, do more research. Don’t be left behind.

Pamela D.Wilson, specializes in long term care planning and education for older adults. Contact her at The Care Navigator or visit ” target=”_blank”>www.thecarenavigatorblog.com”> The Care Navigator Blog for free information

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Male Sandwiched Boomers: A New Trend In Caregiving

With 2008 in full swing, perhaps you’ve already had your fill of economic and political predictions by experts and clairvoyants. However, if you happen to be a Sandwiched Boomer, the following quietly growing trend may surprise you. The results of recent studies indicate that nearly 40% of close to 44 million unpaid caregivers for the elderly are male. The call to honor loved ones is becoming an emerging pattern of male behavior.

Traditionally, the bulk of these caretaking responsibilities have been carried out by daughters. Women have left jobs or subjugated their work life in order to fulfill the duties associated with the ‘daughter track.’ But male caregivers are different than their sisters – they don’t cut back on work as often and they have a louder voice in the workplace. Some experts think that men are powerful enough to catapult this beyond what is perceived as a woman’s issue to a societal need, similar to Social Security and Medicare.

Although there are far more existing data on the experiences and needs of female caregivers, Metlife has recently completed a study called ‘Sons at Work.’ It found that, while 62% of women spoke with their co-workers about their care-giving responsibilities, only 48% of men did.

Despite core values of filial devotion, sons often don’t know how to go about finding help nor do they feel comfortable asking for it. Recognizing this resistance, here are some ideas that can affect a shift in attitude toward seeking assistance and support.

1. Men have special needs in this arena, often feeling embarrassed or guilty. Greater awareness and education can break down attitudinal restraints and emotional barriers – practical seminars, newsletters and health fairs are excellent venues by which to accomplish this.

2. Besides seeing groups as only for women, men don’t think these provide enough structure and focus on problem solving. It is important to reduce their perception that support is only for women. Reframe the concept by redefining the actual group process or by using an alternative definition such as a workshop.

3. Advocate for more appropriate and useful accommodations in the workplace: the availability of geriatric care managers, resources for work/home balance and extended paid leave.

4. Work on expanding the Lifespan Respite Care Act, passed by Congress in 2006. Although $300 million in grants was earmarked to help provide relief to those giving long-term care to family members, the cost of these needs is closer to $300 billion.

5. Through networking, introduce the caregiver to options like community resources and local services. This can reduce stress while enhancing their ability to maintain control over the care-giving role.

6. For those who want loved ones to remain at home longer, provide detailed information about homemaker services or meal delivery. And for assistance to the caregiver himself, help with respite care so he can take care of his own needs.

Americans today are living longer and are developing or dying from more chronic conditions. A greater number of parents now need care at the end of their lives. Many continue to live at home with their children as unpaid caregivers or move in with family, instead of into nursing homes.

Male caregivers are already living their own version of the numbers. Nearly half of them have symptoms of depression. Time is a main resource in short supply and that issue takes a heavy emotional toll. How can they take time for themselves when that is the resource they’re already borrowing? We all have to put our heads together as the groundswell of Baby Boomers faces these dilemmas and discovers there’s simply not enough to go around.

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Caregiving Your spouse Following A Brain Injury

With a brain injury, and possibly physical injuries, the injured person may be a shell of who he/she once was.

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Choosing a Quality Senior Home Care Agency for Caregiving Needs

How to Choose a Senior Home Care Agency

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If you Knew the Ending, Would you Change the Beginning? on Caregiving

Elaine Williams

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Preparing Your Home For Caregiving

When you decide to become a caregiver one of the first steps you need to take before moving someone into your home is to prepare your home for their arrival. Preparing your home for a disabled or ill adult is much the same as childproofing your home for a toddler. Each room must be gone through, reorganized if needed and made as accident proof as possible.

Here is a room by room checklist to use as a guideline.

Common Living Areas

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“jumping Over Caregiving Hurdles”

DATELINE: BRAINTREE, MASS… South Shore Elder Services will cover topics such as handling stress and coping with challenging behaviors of a loved one to strained family relations and lack of support, in their upcoming “Jumping Over Caregiving Hurdles” seminar.

The seminar will be held on Thursday, March 27th from 1:30 to 3 p.m. at South Shore Elder Services, 159 Bay State Drive in Braintree.

Caregivers who are caring for a parent or other loved one will learn strategies to help them resolve conflict; cope; find support and effectively communicate with loved ones, other family members and care providers.

A question and answer session will follow. This educational offering is free and light refreshments will be served.

To reserve a seat, contact Jill Carr, Caregiver Crisis Specialist at South Shore Elder Services (781) 848-3939 ext. 459 by March 25th.

This program is funded through Title IIIE grant of the Older Americans Act through South Shore Elder Services, Inc.

“Your Age Info Specialist”

South Shore Elder Services is located at 159 Bay State Drive in Braintree, MA. The non-profit agency serves elders and families in the towns of Quincy, Braintree, Milton, Randolph, Holbrook, Weymouth, Hingham, Hull, Cohasset, Scituate and Holbrook.

For more information contact (781) 848-3910 or visit their website at www.sselder.org.

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Stay In Boston And Care In Bangalore- Caregiving 2.0

The last few decades have seen more number of Indians migrating to the western shores as the world gets flatter. Numerous opportunities in every imaginable fields have helped Indians to showcase their talent abroad and win accolades for themselves as well as the country. However, this situation has resulted in an unique social scenario in the country where today there are millions of elderly parents whose children have migrated abroad fighting a lone battle with age as well as the healthcare system to manage with their healthcare needs.

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Dealing With Stressful Caregiving – Overcoming Resentment!

The role of a caregiver for your aged parents can be compared to fighting a battle of sorts. This becomes even more obvious in case you are caring for a terminally ill patient. You are fighting a losing battle and it will end with the passing away of your loved one. However, you are dedicated to their well being, health and happiness as much as is humanly possible so that you can make their last days as comfortable and peaceful as you can.

Your fight in this battle would be with the struggles to keep up with the medication schedules, the prescriptions and the frequency of the dosage. Another enemy you may have to face is the financial concerns. With the costs of rent, food and medical care skyrocketing, you have the constant worry of managing the funds to keep the bills paid. These are daily battles with the enemies.

The greatest enemy however, is not any of those mentioned earlier. It is not the economy or the nursing home of your mom or dad, or even any concern with your elderly parents. The biggest enemy the caregiver has to fight against is resentment. Resentment is an emotion that will hurt you as an individual and will not work well for the elderly in your care.

Resentment begins to build up in your mind even before you know what is happening. You begin to brood about little things and this hampers your ability and willingness to do the best you can for your elderly parents. Losing you as the primary caregiver is the worst situation that can happen to your ageing parents because they are totally dependent on you.

Resentment can take many forms. Some resentment may be towards the system in general. The social security and Medicare systems are changing constantly and becoming more and more complex. There may be some resentment towards the facility where your parents are residing when you feel they do not provide the necessary care to your elderly parents.

The worst kind of resentment is the one against siblings or even against the ageing parent. This is a serious problem, one that becomes so deep-rooted that it changes your perception towards your loved ones and hinders your ability to care for them. It is very easy to be overcome by the resentment towards the siblings because you may feel that the role of primary caregiver has been loaded upon you just because the others were not nearby to take the responsibility. Most often, the elderly parent appears to be demanding and ungrateful, which is the reason for your resentment towards them.

In order to overcome resentment, you have to focus your mind on the reason you are fulfilling your responsibility as a primary caregiver. You have undertaken the responsibility not for your parents or your sibling’s sake, but because it is the right thing to do. You are performing your duty because your parents have taken great pains and made sacrifices to bring you up and look after you. In a way, you are trying to repay a debt which can never be repaid, in your own small way. As long as you focus on the real purpose of the mission, you can keep resentment at bay.

Abhishek successfully runs an Old Age Home and he has got some great Eldercare Secrets up his sleeves! Download his FREE 80 Pages Ebook, “How To Take Great Care Of Elders” from his website http://www.Senior-Guides.com/560/index.htm . Only limited Free Copies available.

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Balancing Work and Caregiving

Many cancer caregivers have full-time, or even part-time jobs…and feel stressed and torn between their job and caregiving. Here are some tips to help acknowledge and reduce that stress.

Be Up Front With Your Employer

Be honest with both your supervisor and the human resources department (if you have one) about your caregiving situation. Don’t apologize or offer excuses. Be ready to discuss any changes they may note in your availability or schedule. Be honest about the needs of your family, and discuss why you may need to not take on any additional responsibilities or even travel. Ask about the company’s policy for caregiver support (even if you don’t need time off now, it’s good to know ahead of time). And be sure to check out your state’s Family Leave Act to see if you qualify.

Offer Suggestions

Once your employer understands your situation, they’ll be much more likely to work with you. Come prepared to your meeting with suggestions that will help you….for example working from home a portion of the time, developing flex time (coming in early or staying late on days you need flexibility), or taking longer lunch hours to help your loved one with appointments or follow up on outstanding issues. Your employer may have additional options for you. They often offer resources in terms of sick days, vacation days, comp time, and in cases of crisis, your colleagues may be allowed to donate accrued time to you. It’s worth a discussion!

Ask for Support

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Colleagures, friends, family, and church groups are often eager to assist — they often just don’t know how to help or what you need.

Ask someone to help you look into respite care so you have support if you need it while at work to have time for yourself. There are many community, local, and national resources to support you in this. You can start with the National Family Caregiver Association is an excellent place to start. If you need to, you may be able to utilize The Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA), a national policy that guarantees covered employees 12 weeks of unpaid leave each year to care for a seriously ill family member while ensuring job security.

Self-Care

Caregivers often become depressed and depleted of energy. In order to give your best, to yourself and others, you must take time daily to take care physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Physically: Eat healthy and well-balanced meals regularly. Exercise every day, even if it’s just taking a short walk. Use relaxation or stress management techniques, such as meditation, visualization, journaling and yoga. Schedule time for this every day or it probably won’t happen.

Mentally: Acknowledge your own feelings around the cancer journey. Vent to family members, a counselor, or friends, not coworkers. Stay actively involved with friends and hobbies. Create a support network and/or join a support group.

Spiritually: Take time, even as little as 15 minutes per day, for prayer or meditation. Read or subscribe to inspirational magazines, newsletters or books to keep yourself inspired and uplifted. Consider seeking the counsel of a minister in your community. Following these tips will help you take care of your job, your loved one, and yourself — all of which are important.

Jayne Hutchinson was immersed into a new world after her husband was diagnosed with cancer. She found there was little information and support available for spouses and partners. She created the My Loved One Has Cancer web site to fill that gap.This web site features comprehensive resources and tools to make the cancer journey easier for the spouse or partner of a loved one with cancer. http://www.mylovedonehascancer.com

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