When Elders Are Financially Exploited By Friends, Family and Caregivers

by bobcrabtree1 Posted: Sunday, 1/17/2010

It is a sad fact that most people who financially exploit the elderly get away with it. They often find it so easy that they do it time and time again. Each time the Exploiter becomes more and more bold. They act as though they are entitled to this money and no one else deserves it. This is why they must be prosecuted. There will be another victim.


Prosecuting these crimes is difficult for the State Attorney because of how it is done. In my career as a Professional Geriatric Care Manager in South Florida I have noticed a definite step-by-step process, almost a formula, that these Exploiters use to separate elders from their life savings. In many cases the Exploiter actually gets permission from the elder to take their money. Because of this, it can be argued that the elder “allowed” their assets to be taken and therefore, no crime took place. Furthermore, to argue that an elder was easily influenced by the Exploiter is to imply that the elder is incompetent and perhaps should not be in control of any of their finances. Few elders want to admit that. Instead they justify the theft or even cover it up. Once the elder realizes that they have been victimized, they may feel responsible, guilty or embarrassed. Few will testify against the one who stole from them.


When we think of someone who steals from the elderly, we conjure an image of the stranger lurking around the ATM machine or scam artist selling bogus products. Since Investment Broker, Bernard Madoff “made off’ with his client’s millions, we have all become familiar with the term “ponzi scheme”. But this type of financial exploitation is rare compared to the financial exploitation elder care professionals see every day which is perpetrated by an elderly person’s friends, family and caregivers. In cases I have worked I have seen that THIS type of exploitation achieved slowly, purposely and in FIVE PREDICTABLE STEPS. It is often done so artfully, that the elder and others around them see it happening but cannot believe it is true. They ignore all the small telltales signs. When the situation finally explodes, the FIVE STEPS are then seen as clear as day. By then it may be too late to do anything about it.


Here are the STEPs. Learn to recognize them and you may prevent this horrible crime from happening to yourself or someone you care about.


STEP ONE: The Exploiter comes to the rescue – they become a caregiver or helpmate when the person suffers a crisis. They may do extra favors for the elder without pay and refuse to take payment even when offered…at first. The Exploiter will later remind the elder of the favors and cause them to feel indebted to them.


STEP TWO: The Exploiter convinces the elder that they are the only one who cares about their welfare. The elder is brainwashed to believe that the true family only wants their money.


STEP THREE: The Exploiter separates the elder emotionally and physically from their family. They bring in their own family to be the “replacement family”. Next they tell the elder they are like family to them. May may even start to call the elder ” Mom” or “Dad”. They may deny the true family access to calling or visiting the elder and cause others in the community to regard the true family as exploiters. The elder may never know about all the family’s attempts to reach them.


STEP FOUR: The Exploiter gets permission to use the elder’s credit card, ATM card or other money for a small purchase. Then they continue to use the elder’s assets and transfer assets little by little to their own account or distribute assets among the Exploiter’s family members. The Exploiter may shop for the elder but purchase items for themselves as well. They may take the elder out to dinner but also invite their whole family and have the elder pay for it. When the Exploiter’s car needs repair or gas, the elder is asked to pay for since that car is used to shop or transport the elder. The elder will feel they have no choice but to agree.


STEP FIVE: Finally, the Exploiter will attempt to take legal control over the person. They may become Power of Attorney, change the Will to disinherit the family and bequeath assets to them self and or their family. A few years ago, I had a case where an attorney changed the Will of a confused dying woman to give her home and assets to an aide whom she had only known for two years. This was especially heinous because that lawyer had previously written the Will for the family and knew that the heirs existed. This family fought the caregiver in court and had to settle for about one tenth of their original estate. I testified against the the attorney and he has tried to retaliate against me several times since. A few weeks ago I testified in a case where a caregiver in her forties married a ninety- four year old man. She was previously his maid for about two years. She had a notary perform the ceremony in their living room while her children served as witnesses. This act automatically disinherited the elderly man’s entire family. The marriage was challenged and annulled. The elderly man was deemed incompetent by a court of law and assigned a guardian of his assets.


The secret weapon these perpetrators use is LOVE, ATTENTION, FAMILY- LIKE CONNECTION and even SEX…all the things human beings need but may not get once they are aged. In South Florida, many seniors retire to this area only to find themselves thousands of miles from their original family when they need them the most. This isolation creates a dangerous opportunity for exploiters.


If someone you love has a person in their life, be it friend, family, caregiver, or even a trusted professional and you feel they are taking over that person’s finances, lifestyle and even thought processes, get professional help! Contact a professional such as a Geriatric Care Manager or an Elder Law attorney and make sure someone contacts Adult Protective Services. The reality is that the police and State Attorney’s office will need you to practically build the case for them in order for them to prosecute. The evidence may need to be gathered secretly in order not to cause the Exploiter to quickly move to STEP FIVE. Most importantly, take action immediately. Know that the elder will feel you are meddling and taking over. They will not thank you for this because they have already been convinced that the Exploiter has somehow earned their loyalty and their money. Act anyway because it is the right thing to do.

Geriatric Care Managers and Elder Health Care Professionals Committed To Providing Senior Care Management, Guardianship, and Long Term Care Planning. Also can call toll free at V.I.P. Care management, inc. 1-877-588-5158

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When Elders Are Financially Exploited By Friends, Family and Caregivers

by bobcrabtree1 Posted: Sunday, 1/17/2010

It is a sad fact that most people who financially exploit the elderly get away with it. They often find it so easy that they do it time and time again. Each time the Exploiter becomes more and more bold. They act as though they are entitled to this money and no one else deserves it. This is why they must be prosecuted. There will be another victim.


Prosecuting these crimes is difficult for the State Attorney because of how it is done. In my career as a Professional Geriatric Care Manager in South Florida I have noticed a definite step-by-step process, almost a formula, that these Exploiters use to separate elders from their life savings. In many cases the Exploiter actually gets permission from the elder to take their money. Because of this, it can be argued that the elder “allowed” their assets to be taken and therefore, no crime took place. Furthermore, to argue that an elder was easily influenced by the Exploiter is to imply that the elder is incompetent and perhaps should not be in control of any of their finances. Few elders want to admit that. Instead they justify the theft or even cover it up. Once the elder realizes that they have been victimized, they may feel responsible, guilty or embarrassed. Few will testify against the one who stole from them.


When we think of someone who steals from the elderly, we conjure an image of the stranger lurking around the ATM machine or scam artist selling bogus products. Since Investment Broker, Bernard Madoff “made off’ with his client’s millions, we have all become familiar with the term “ponzi scheme”. But this type of financial exploitation is rare compared to the financial exploitation elder care professionals see every day which is perpetrated by an elderly person’s friends, family and caregivers. In cases I have worked I have seen that THIS type of exploitation achieved slowly, purposely and in FIVE PREDICTABLE STEPS. It is often done so artfully, that the elder and others around them see it happening but cannot believe it is true. They ignore all the small telltales signs. When the situation finally explodes, the FIVE STEPS are then seen as clear as day. By then it may be too late to do anything about it.


Here are the STEPs. Learn to recognize them and you may prevent this horrible crime from happening to yourself or someone you care about.


STEP ONE: The Exploiter comes to the rescue – they become a caregiver or helpmate when the person suffers a crisis. They may do extra favors for the elder without pay and refuse to take payment even when offered…at first. The Exploiter will later remind the elder of the favors and cause them to feel indebted to them.


STEP TWO: The Exploiter convinces the elder that they are the only one who cares about their welfare. The elder is brainwashed to believe that the true family only wants their money.


STEP THREE: The Exploiter separates the elder emotionally and physically from their family. They bring in their own family to be the “replacement family”. Next they tell the elder they are like family to them. May may even start to call the elder ” Mom” or “Dad”. They may deny the true family access to calling or visiting the elder and cause others in the community to regard the true family as exploiters. The elder may never know about all the family’s attempts to reach them.


STEP FOUR: The Exploiter gets permission to use the elder’s credit card, ATM card or other money for a small purchase. Then they continue to use the elder’s assets and transfer assets little by little to their own account or distribute assets among the Exploiter’s family members. The Exploiter may shop for the elder but purchase items for themselves as well. They may take the elder out to dinner but also invite their whole family and have the elder pay for it. When the Exploiter’s car needs repair or gas, the elder is asked to pay for since that car is used to shop or transport the elder. The elder will feel they have no choice but to agree.


STEP FIVE: Finally, the Exploiter will attempt to take legal control over the person. They may become Power of Attorney, change the Will to disinherit the family and bequeath assets to them self and or their family. A few years ago, I had a case where an attorney changed the Will of a confused dying woman to give her home and assets to an aide whom she had only known for two years. This was especially heinous because that lawyer had previously written the Will for the family and knew that the heirs existed. This family fought the caregiver in court and had to settle for about one tenth of their original estate. I testified against the the attorney and he has tried to retaliate against me several times since. A few weeks ago I testified in a case where a caregiver in her forties married a ninety- four year old man. She was previously his maid for about two years. She had a notary perform the ceremony in their living room while her children served as witnesses. This act automatically disinherited the elderly man’s entire family. The marriage was challenged and annulled. The elderly man was deemed incompetent by a court of law and assigned a guardian of his assets.


The secret weapon these perpetrators use is LOVE, ATTENTION, FAMILY- LIKE CONNECTION and even SEX…all the things human beings need but may not get once they are aged. In South Florida, many seniors retire to this area only to find themselves thousands of miles from their original family when they need them the most. This isolation creates a dangerous opportunity for exploiters.


If someone you love has a person in their life, be it friend, family, caregiver, or even a trusted professional and you feel they are taking over that person’s finances, lifestyle and even thought processes, get professional help! Contact a professional such as a Geriatric Care Manager or an Elder Law attorney and make sure someone contacts Adult Protective Services. The reality is that the police and State Attorney’s office will need you to practically build the case for them in order for them to prosecute. The evidence may need to be gathered secretly in order not to cause the Exploiter to quickly move to STEP FIVE. Most importantly, take action immediately. Know that the elder will feel you are meddling and taking over. They will not thank you for this because they have already been convinced that the Exploiter has somehow earned their loyalty and their money. Act anyway because it is the right thing to do.

Geriatric Care Managers and Elder Health Care Professionals Committed To Providing Senior Care Management, Guardianship, and Long Term Care Planning. Also can call toll free at V.I.P. Care management, inc. 1-877-588-5158

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Home Health Care v.s. Facility Placement : Options in Elder Care

by bobcrabtree1 Posted: Saturday, 1/16/2010

It always makes me sad to hear the families of an elder say ?Mom made me promise to never put her in a nursing home?. That is simply a promise that most families today cannot keep. If a caring son or daughter finds that they have to break that promise, they may feel guilty for the rest of their lives. Mom probably asked for that promise because the nursing homes she remembers were dark, institutional places which would be considered substandard in America today. Today?s family structure and the financial challenges of elder care, make facility living a very common choice. When an elder shows signs of not being able to perform the basic activities of daily living, families or concerned professionals must step in. It is actually against most state laws for a professional to be aware of an elder in trouble without taking some reasonable action to secure their safety. There are many indicators that an elder is no longer safe at home alone. The basic litmus test is to ask yourself is: ?Could this person save him or herself if their home were on fire? Would they be able to call 911 and communicate their exact location? If left alone for any period of time are they at risk for physical abuse or financial exploitation? Do they have the skills and resources to meet their daily hygiene and nutritional needs? The answer is ?NO? for many American elders who live home alone.


Independence vs. Isolation


Many of my elderly clients who were trying so hard to maintain their independence by living alone at home actually maintained nothing more than an isolated existence punctuated by the occasionally call or visit from friends and family. This type of isolation was also coupled with medication errors or abuse, self neglect and unsanitary housekeeping. A person living in this situation will often ?bloom like a flower? in the right retirement facility environment. It is amazing what three hot meals a days, social interaction, clean sheets and regular administration of medications can do for a person?s mind, body and spirit. A person who lives alone is more likely to fall and lay alone on the floor for days without being found. A person, who lives alone may make poor choices such as keeping, (or worse,) spoiled food in the refrigerator. If a person lives alone, there are many signs of illness that no one will notice during sporadic short visits. Medical appointments may be missed and prescriptions left unfilled. Many people feel that they are honoring their aging loved one by letting them live alone, even though all the tell tale signs of self neglect are apparent. There is no honor or dignity in being found on the floor after one has laid in their own excrement for three days. Unfortunately, many families will wait for this type of incident before insisting on either home health care or facility placement. If an elder is physically or verbally abusive to family and care givers, they are much more likely to be left alone to make their own decisions, regardless of how dysfunctional their situation may be. Elders with difficult personalities are many times more likely to be abused by caregivers. They need more supervision, not less.


American Family Dynamics and the Pressures of Today?s World


I hear people say ?Americans don?t take care of their elders like other countries do?. Well that is not my experience. The adult children who consult with Geriatric Care Manager or other eldercare professionals are very concerned about their parents. They love them and they want the best care their money can buy. That?s the clincher: what their money can buy. In America, caregivers, maids, etc,, are expensive. Perhaps in another country where slave labor is commonplace, people can afford plenty of care. But in this country it costs $12.00 per hour (or more) for a home health aide. At eight hours per day, that is $96.00 per day. That is $2,880 per month or $34,560 per year ? more than the average working American earns per year. The average woman gets a social security check of less than $500.00 per month. Do the math and you will soon see that unless you are wealthy, many people cannot afford to keep their elders in their own home with a part time caregiver or even in their children?s home with a caregiver.


Now couple this financial problem with another very real problem. Most middle income women in their fifties, who are caring for their elderly parents, are also trying to hold down a job, help their young-adult children and maintain a marriage. If a middle income woman stops working to care for her parents, she and her husband either cannot pay their bills or they must significantly reduce their standard of living. I know a few husbands who are fifty-something and feel they have worked too hard and too long to have their dreams of retirement evaporate because someone else?s needs are suddenly more important than their own. Now that Americans have come to grips with the concept that it takes two incomes to live well in this country, they are more determined than ever to have a retirement. Paying $35,000 per year for a caregiver can take a huge chunk out of the retirement savings. Frankly, most people couldn?t afford to do it even if they wanted to. Because most Americans? net worth is in the equity of their home, selling the family home is the most common way to finance elder care services. If the family home sells for $100,000.00 and the average cost of an Assisted Living Residence is $36,000.00 per year, an elder can afford to live in that Assisted Living for 2.7 years. Coincidently, the average amount of time a person lives in an Assisted Living before moving on to a nursing home is 2.5 years.


Many adult children, who do have the desire and financial means to bring their elders to live with them, still cannot. They cannot because the medical or psychological needs of the elder are beyond their capacity to manage. For example, if Grandma is sweet and docile by day, but ?sundowns? or grows agitated as evening falls, this poses a difficult problem for the caring family. When some people experience dementia or other medical issues, they may stay awake all night. They sometimes wander out of doors or rummage through drawers and closets. This behavior will keep the whole family awake at night. If a working family cannot sleep at night, this situation will become intolerable very quickly. Some adult children have been raised by violent, aggressive parents who are now violent aggressive elders. Children who have been raised under these conditions need not feel obligated to bring their parents to live with them, despite the pressure they may get from outsiders who do not know the real story.


Elders and their families who are trying to make difficult choices about elder care benefit from a professional assessment from a geriatric specialist. Professional care managers can offer an objective opinion based on a clinical evaluation of the physical and cognitive status of the elder. Physicians, hospital case managers, facility admissions coordinators and social workers can also offer advice about appropriate placement of an elder or even suggest how to set up services in the home to best meet the elder?s needs.


Home Health Care ? Stay Home without Being Alone


At the very least, any elder living alone should have a medical alert system. This is a necklace or wrist band with a panic button that can be pushed in case of emergency. If the button is pushed a dispatch center receives the signal and makes and attempt to communicate with the elder through a speaker placed in the home. If the elder needs help or does not respond to attempts to communicate, emergency services will be dispatched to the home. Many services will also contact friends and family to notify them that assistance is needed. A good candidate for this device is one WHO DOES NOT have memory loss as memory loss makes it difficult to learn to operate new appliances.


There are two basic types of home health care services: Medicare and Private Duty:


Medicare Home Health is free but can only be accessed if ordered a physician. Medicare will only authorize the free home health services if specific events have happened such as a recent hospitalization lasting three or more days, or a recent change in health status, etc. Medicare will send a Registered Nurse to evaluate the elder and that nurse decides if other professionals such as physical therapists, social workers, dieticians, etc. should perform evaluations. Each professional will determine what services they will render and for how long. Medicare services are temporary in nature and are not offered on a full time basis. The average visit by the nurse, aide and therapist is less than one hour each. Even Medicare home health aides only stay long enough to bathe and dress the patient.


Private Duty Home Health can be arranged on a full time, part time or live- in basis. Many Long Term Care Insurance policies will pay for home health care. The amount of care one can get and the duration of the services varies depending upon which policy they purchased. If someone does not have insurance, they must pay out of pocket (or private pay) for any services. Typically a private home care agency will offer services at a minimum of four hours per day. Typical eight hour shifts are 7am-3pm, 3pm-11pm and 11pm ? 7am. Many elders complain that an agency sends them a different caregiver each day. In order to avoid having the same aide, that as much as possible, order care every day for at least eight hours. This will allow the agency to schedule the same person for all your shifts. Because labor laws do apply and the agency would have to pay overtime for time which exceeds 40 hours per week, you will most likely have at least two to three caregivers on a full time case. The average hourly rate is $14.00 per hour. A live-in will cost about $150.00 per day. A live-in lives in your home and drives your car (or theirs for a mileage fee) and you are expected to feed them as well, even if you go out to dinner. By law, a live- in is entitled to two hours per day of free time. They can do what ever they like, including leaving the house during their break. If this arrangement will not work for your situation, consider hiring an aide around the clock. Around the clock care is typically delivered in two twelve hour shifts which are done by two different caregivers.


One aide comes to the home from 8am until 8pm and is relieved by the second caregiver at 8pm until 8am. Around the clock care can be delivered in many schedule formats. A live- in is expected to have their own private bedroom and bathroom although many agencies are flexible on this issue. The live- in is expected to be awake all day and have at least 7 hours of sleep at night. If the elder does not sleep at night, a live- in arrangement will not work. One option is to have the live in ($150/day) plus hire a caregiver to come to the house and stay up all night with the elder ($14.00. hour for eight nighttime hours). This costs $112 + $150= $262.00 per day. The only other alternative is to have around- the- clock care which will cost $14.00/hr X 24 hr=$336/day. Adding the eight hour night shift to the live in, saves about $3,000 per month. The Veterans Aid and Attendance Pension is available to qualified veterans who need a caregiver in their home on a regular basis.


Types of Adult Housing and Facilities:


Independent Living Facilities usually offer small apartments with some meals included in the price. A person who lives in an Independent Living Facility is expected to manage their daily care needs on their own, but the staff would readily recognize if needs increased and assist the resident in obtaining the needed help. Some facilities have extra care services available for additional charge to help the resident ?age in place.? Others may ask a resident to move out if their needs exceed the scope of that particular facility. Limited transportation is usually provided although many residents are still driving when they enter an Independent Living Facility. These facilities may cost anywhere from less than $1,000 per month to over $5,000 per month depending upon the luxury amenities and location.


Assisted Living Facilities usually offer hotel size rooms with the option to share a room or pay extra for a private room. Three meals and snacks are usually provided as part of the price. Residents are expected to need some assistance with their daily care needs. Medication administration is strictly supervised. The State laws dictate who can live in an Assisted Living. The State does not want Assisted Living facilities to house nursing home candidates or Nursing Homes to admit people who could function just as well in an Assisted Living Facility. Assisted Living residents must be able to walk and transfer ( from bed to chair or chair to standing) with the assistance of only one other person. An Assisted Living resident can be left alone in their room for two hours or more. Nurses aides are on duty around the clock. Registered nurses or Licensed Practical Nurses are on duty at least during the daytime. Many medical services may make rounds and visit residents at least monthly. It is not uncommon for an Assisted Living resident to never have to leave the building for a medical or beauty appointment. Prices may range from under $1200/month to over $8,000/ month, once again depending upon the amenities. Medicaid has a program called the Medicaid Waiver which can pay part of the cost of the Assisted Living. However, funds have been historically limited and waiting lists can be long. The Veteran Aide and Attendance Pension is designed to financially assist qualified veterans who need the services of an Assisted Living facility


Dementia Specific Facilities are designed especially for the memory impaired resident. The building, floorplan, furnishings, d

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INTERGENERATIONAL EXCHANGES: A STUDY OF ELDERLY AND THEIR MARRIED CHILDREN

by bobcrabtree1 Posted: Saturday, 1/16/2010

INTERGENERATIONAL EXCHANGES:

A STUDY OF ELDERLY AND THEIR MARRIED CHILDREN

Dr. Anupam Bahri

INTRODUCTION:

The parent-child bond is a continuum of emotional support that lasts a life time of both, the parent and the offspring. This bipolar, linear interaction can vary in frequency, quality and type depending on the age, interests and needs of the two generations. During early childhood the relationship between parent and child is constant and largely unidirectional, because the children are highly dependent on their parents for support. During adolescence, this interaction declines in frequency and becomes more reciprocal as both generations tend to influence each other either through conflict or concordance. The relationship would most probably be characterized by conflict over values, beliefs and behavior (Alpert and Richardson, 1980). Then these very children eventually establish their own families and begin to experience interactions from the parental perspective the relationship with their own parents may decrease further in quantity and quality as new demands are placed on them. Finally as new demands enter midlife and parents grow old, interaction may increase especially if elderly parent becomes increasingly dependent on an adult child. In this situation the relationship once again becomes primarily linear, but in the opposite direction that is, from that of the adult children. More help is given to parents, especially with respect to healthcare. However, there may be a continuing socio-cultural and economic exchange developing in both directions, although whether the direction is parent to child or child to parent may depend on the socio- economic status of the two generations.

Within the family there are physical, emotional, economic and social resources that can be exchanged in a serial or reciprocal manner, depending on the need of the parent or child generation. Serial exchanges tend to be prevalent and generally represent a downward flow of assistance from the older generation to the younger generation because of a sense of responsibility and affection (Moore, 1966). Reciprocal exchange or a two way flow is most common among the central and oldest generations, especially among the middle class. Johnson and Bursk (1977) found that 93 per cent of the elderly in the study, who had adult children, were engaged in a reciprocal pattern of exchange.

This process of exchange usually involved services like babysitting, and/ or nursing the infants that is their grandchildren, counseling, shopping, household maintenance, gifts like money, clothes, appliances, and air or train tickets for visits or interaction in the form of face to face visits, telephone calls or letters (Hill, 1965; Synge et.al., 1981). The form and frequency of exchange varies greatly among families and is influenced by a number of social factors. These include residential propinquity, social class, children?s sex, their own race and ethnicity as well as that of the children, age of the middle and oldest generations and the degree of filial maturity (that is growing concern about parents in the middle years: Blenkner, 1965).The greater the extent to which elderly parents live in proximity to children, the greater the likelihood of visiting and exchanging goods or services.

Class differences in frequency and type of exchange have been found in many studies (Troll and Bengtson, 1979; Neugartan 1979; Lacy and Hendricks, 1980). Shanas (1967), in a study of family help patterns among approximately 25,000 people over 65 years of age in Britain, Denmark and the United States, found that members of every social class were engaged in reciprocal assistance. However, since size of family, living arrangements, family values and economic position varied by social class, the amount, form and frequency of mutual aid also varied. Studies have shown that working?class parents are more likely to exchange services; that the middle class is more likely to exhibit patterns of serial exchange from the oldest to youngest generations. This form of reciprocity is more common among the working class and there is more face to face interaction among the working class. Among them there is more telephoning and letter writing among the middle class because of greater social and geographical mobility.

A marked difference in gender reciprocation has also been observed in familial exchange relationships. Sons often perceived assisting older parents as an instrumental act resulting from an obligation to repay a past debt, whereas daughters, because of long-standing, expressive lineal mother daughter ties, perceived assistance as an expressive, act which they wanted to or needed to perform. As a result, sons generally provided more financial assistance and frequently took decisions about the care of the parents. Daughters almost always seemed to be the primary caregivers (Horowitz, 1981). This may also be because women are more likely to play the traditional nurturing role, because the mother-daughter relationship is strengthened during the adult years, especially after the daughter has become a mother and subsequent sharing has taken place for the care of the little ones( Fischer, 1981). Marshall et.al., (1982) found that daughters worry about parental health more so than do sons. Interestingly enough it is the health of the father which generates more concern and worry than that of mother.

From the perspective of elderly parents, it appears that they primarily offer financial assistance to sons and services to daughters. However, there are great interfamily variations, depending on class and on the individual interest of the parents. If they are still employed, younger grandparents may have neither the time for nor the interest in performing baby sitting or other care-giving service roles. As a result, they may replace this personal assistance with loans or gifts of money.

Another factor influencing the type and frequency of exchange and assistance is the sense of filial responsibility or experiencing filial maturity. This represents the extent to which adult children feel obligated to meet the basic needs of their ageing parents. While the family is an important source of aid and support for the elderly, the expectations of the parents and children as to what should be done may or may not coincide. The chronological age of the children may determine their desirability to assist or interact with their parents. Adult children with very old parents may also be retired and have their own economic and health concerns. Therefore, they may be less able or willing to assist their ageing parents and may tend to abdicate some of their filial responsibility to public or private social service agencies (Gelfand et.al., 1978).

From the perspective of the ageing parents, expectations for filial responsibility seem to be higher with increasing age among females and among the widowed or divorced, if they have few economic resources, if health fails and if their general level of morale or life satisfaction is low (Seelback, 1977, 1978; Seelback and Sauer, 1977). In short, the perception of filial responsibility may influence interaction patterns in later years, where expectations differ, family solidarity is weakened, overt conflict is visible and public or private social agencies may be required to fill the void for visiting, health and household services.

Most research has focused on the type and frequency of exchange between ageing parents and adult children. Quantity rather than quality has been the central concern. Johnson and Bursk (1977) and Johnson (1978) found that the quality of the relationship is influenced by the health, economic and housing situation of the elderly and by attitudes to their personal ageing experience. The level of the affect was higher when the parents were in good health and held positive feelings about their personal ageing process. They also noted that there was more quality interaction in the relationship when parents were socially active outside the extended family. The studies on old age in India are still in their infancy as most of the studies were conducted in the 1960s, or efforts were made to explore the problems of old people. Later, in the 1970s and 1980s social scientists focused attention on issues like the status and role of old people in rural or urban communities and their adjustment in old age. As per Indian studies Mishra (1987) in his study conducted on retired male government employees in Chandigarh found a direct link and a positive correlation between health conditions and their subsequent adjustment. Poor health often leads to the redefinition of the scope of their parental role. Poor health leads to more assistance from adult offspring and it also contributes significantly to negative self feeling.

In other studies conducted by Jamuna (1984, 1987, 1988,1989, 1990,1991), Jumna and Ramamurti (1984, 1989) and Asha and Subramaniam (1990) the problems of aging like adjustment patterns, role activities and acceptance besides husband-wife communication have been examined in detail. They found that as the aging process goes on, it brings in several changes for the individual in terms of role playing and adjustments to be made at various stages. It requires adjustments to changing relations of authority and difference, to changing health situations, inter-generational problems, relations between the spouses, as also economic, social and psychological problems, following ?exit? situations like death and bereavement. All these call for adjustment between the aging individual and other members of the family as well as the community. Taking a clue from the research studies conducted in the area and in order to fill the gap in the existing studies the researcher in the present study has attempted to focus on the quality of exchanges rather than quantity of exchange among the elderly parents and their married children in the form of intergenerational exchanges.

MAIN OBJECTIVE:

(i)

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The Elder Scrolls Iv: Oblivion Review

by bobcrabtree1 Posted: Saturday, 1/16/2010

When The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion was released for the Xbox 360 in 2006, it was considered by many to be the best role playing game of the year. Fortunately, PlayStation 3 owners will now be able to delve into the world of Tamriel. Oblivion is based on a user created character that is immersed in a world of tyranny. The gamers role is to find an heir to the throne because the previous heir was murdered. As a result, the gates to the Oblivion open. Consequently, nefarious demons come from these gates and attack innocent civilians. Players must find a way to find the heir and prevent the destruction of Tamriel. The game starts by customizing your character from the ground up. This entails race, gender, class, and attributes (ala Jade Empire). A few of the classes include thieves, warriors, and wizards. Each class has their own pros and cons. For instance, a thief will be proficient in pilfering items. A warrior will be an amazing fighter, and a wizard will be a brilliant spell caster. The gameplay is where Oblivion really shines. It is more than a linear role playing game. One element of the game that sticks out like a sore thumb is the exploration. There are a plethora of video games that give you an objective, and you have to see it through until the end. That is not the case with Oblivion. Players are in control of when they want to further the main storyline. In regards to the main storyline, you will be encountering a myriad of malicious monsters that want to crush Tamriel.

Gamers can follow the main plot, or they can fool around with the seemingly endless character interactions. What would a role playing game be without side-quests? Nothing. Luckily, Oblivion does a remarkable job of giving you a laundry list of optional missions to complete. One of the optional missions can be to retrieve an item. But it is not as rudimentary as that. While recovering the item, you might be ambushed by some thugs or creatures. I would spend so much time away from the main storyline that I forgot all about it. Secret caves and dungeons are places that are scattered throughout the world of Oblivion. The combat in Oblivion feels more like a first person shooter than a true role playing game. You can attack with various magic spells, swords, arrows, and so much more. For example, gamers can assail a foe from afar with magic or arrows. After that, they can close in on their opponent with a sword attack. Having versatile combat like that is unprecedented for a role playing game. Sometimes you do not even have to fight. Stealth can be utilized in order to circumvent your way through the next stage in the game. The audio in the game is not bad. The sounds of weapons hitting against each other do sound realistic. All of the dialogue in the game is spoken. In contrast to the lifeless reading of text in role playing games like Zelda and Final Fantasy. Conversely, many of the same voices are used for multiple characters. The visuals in Oblivion on the PlayStation 3 are marginally better than on the Xbox 360. Frame rate flaws on the PlayStation 3 edition are slim when compared to the Xbox 360 iteration. Loading screens are no longer a concern with the release of the game on the PlayStation 3. If anyone came across a loading screen in the Xbox 360 adaptation of the game, he or she could have more than enough time to make a sandwich and eat it. Unlike the Xbox 360 version, there is minimal load times throughout the duration of Oblivion on the PlayStation 3. Overall, Oblivion is an epic role playing game from beginning to end. Over forty hours of gameplay is well worth anyone?s time.

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Some Amazing Bathrooms Statistics On Elderly Injuries

by bobcrabtree1 Posted: Friday, 1/15/2010

Statistics show that more than one half of all accidents occur in our homes. Most of the accidents are due to falls. While the stairs pose their own difficulties, the bathroom is the room that accounts for the greatest number for falls in the home.


Data indicates that one of every three senior citizens in the United States will fall annually. Of that number, at least half will fall again within the same year. Eighty-seven percent of all fractures in people over the age of sixty-five years old are caused by a fall. Accidental falls account for at least twenty percent of injury related deaths in this age group.


These falls result in loss of independence and dignity. Perhaps most tragic is the loss of the person’s mobility and sense of well-being. A fall can leave an elderly person in chronic pain, with permanent disabilities, and limit their physical activities. Once the physical activities have been limited, a person looses muscle strength and flexibility. It then becomes a struggle for the person to recover.


With most of these accidents occurring in the bathroom it becomes of vital importance to make this room safer. Any area where water may spill or accumulate on the floor should have low-pile, absorbent rugs with a non-skid rubber backing. These should be placed around tubs, sinks, and the toilet.


Light bulbs should be changed from bright lights to frosted bulbs to reduce the glare. This will enable a person to see water or other liquids that are spilled on the floor more easily.


Grab bars must be installed in and near bath tubs and toilets. These bars must be placed at the correct height specific to the user. If placed too low there is little leverage gained and if placed too high there is the risk of a person loosing their grip.


The grab bars should not be made of a slick finish, but should be textured. The premium grab bars have a rubber coating that provides a more secure grasp.


Bath tubs and shower floors should have high-quality, slip-resistant adhesive strips installed to prevent falls in the tub. The floors and other surfaces should been cleaned frequently to prevent the build-up of slippery substances such as soap scum, shampoo and bath gels.


A quality shower chair should be placed in the tub or shower so that a person can bathe in a seated position or for anyone who may not have the physical strength to stand for over a few minutes.


With minor preventative measures the bathroom can offer peace of mind for our aging family members and can keep them physically active and independent for a much longer time.

Dror Klar is an advocate and writer about senion citizen safety. learn more about his new
walk in tubs and learn how walk in bath tubs may save a senior from being crippled or even death.

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Nutrition for the Elderly

by bobcrabtree1 Posted: Friday, 1/15/2010

As we all know, good nutrition is essential to a healthy lifestyle. Since many of us in our retirement years live on a strict budget, eating healthy can sometimes be a very expensive and difficult task; however, finding the extra money and time to eat healthier will pay dividends toward your overall health. Healthy eating will aid us in our efforts to fight against disease such and obesity, osteoporosis, high blood pressure, and cholesterol. The lack of nutrition among the elderly varies, but most commonly comes from a result of bad habits, physical problems, and cooking skills.

A healthy diet must include a low fat low calorie plan. Make sure to eat a variety of foods that cover all of the five major food groups. Some suggestions are whole wheat, fruits, vegetables, low fat dairy, and poultry or fish. Eating an assortment of different foods in all five major food groups will ensure us that our bodies will have the proper nutrition that is required for healthy living.

For some of us, proper nutrition may require more then just eating the right foods. You must make sure that you are aware of any medications that may deplete any aspects of your nutrition intake. For example, some preliminary studies show that prescribed acid reflux medications may prevent the body from absorbing calcium, so someone on these types of medications may want to take an additional calcium supplement along with healthy eating.

Drinking water is a must, water is natures miracle cure. The body needs water to flush out toxins and maintain healthy tissue. The goal is to drink eight glasses of water a day which will also help to aid against dehydration.

To help your cause to stay on a healthy diet there are a few things that you must incorporate into your daily life. When ever possible, prepare you meals a few days in advance, this will help you to stay motivated toward eating healthy when you are busy and on the go. Also, stock your refrigerator with vegetables and fruits this will help with your urges to snack on potato chips or candy. Become creative with your fruits and vegetables. For example, for those with spicy taste buds you may want to eat fruit such as pineapple and watermelon with a little power chill or something simple as carrots and low fat ranch dressing as a dip, as these goodies will help keep you from unhealthy foods.

Strive not to overcomplicate things, keep things simple, and eat you fruits, vegetables, diary, and fish.

For more information on issues that enrich and affect the senior citizen community, G. J. Rigdon invites you to visit his website http://www.seniorcarenevada.com

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Taking The Keys Away From An Elderly Driver

by bobcrabtree1 Posted: Friday, 1/15/2010

More and more adult children each year are facing the heart rending decision of taking the car keys away from elderly parents whose driving behavior has become a danger to themselves and others. This isn’t an easy decision to make because it represents the older driver’s sense of independence and dignity. For anyone facing this choice, there are some valuable tools to help you with your decision.

There is no set age at which a driver is no longer able to drive; some drivers maintain their vision, reflexes and physical abilities well into their 80s and 90s while others, due to diseases such as heart disease or diabetes may face the decision of giving up their license in their 50s. The data shows that older people, due to their fragility and health issues stand a greater chance of becoming a fatality in a traffic collision but the good news, from an Insurance Institute for Highway (IIHS) study released in December, shows that the death rate for older drivers declined steadily between 1997 and 2006 compared to drivers in other age groups. There is no definitive data showing why the death rate for older drivers has declined but it is felt that older drivers are “self limiting” their driving by no longer driving at night, making shorter trips and avoiding interstates. There is also a feeling that more drivers are surrendering their license on their own when they can no longer pass the vision test or they come to the conclusion on their own that they no longer possess the ability to drive safely.

For those that refuse to surrender their license, the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) provides the following warning signs:

Feeling uncomfortable and nervous or fearful while driving
Dents and scrapes on the car or on fences, mailboxes, garage doors, curbs etc.
Difficulty staying in the lane of travel
Getting lost
Trouble paying attention to signals, road signs and pavement markings
Slower response to unexpected situations
Medical conditions or medications that may be affecting the ability to handle the car safely
Frequent “close calls” (i.e. almost crashing)
Trouble judging gaps in traffics at intersections and on highway entrance/exit ramps
Other drivers honking at you and instances when you are angry at other drivers
Friends or relatives not wanting to drive with you
Difficulty seeing the sides of the road when looking straight ahead
Easily distracted or having a hard time concentrating while driving
Having a hard time turning around to check over your shoulder while backing up or changing lanes
Frequent traffic tickets or “warnings” by traffic or law enforcement officers in the last year or two

The child, relative or caregiver concerned about the safety of an older driver should follow these steps:

Start a dialogue with the older driver expressing your concerns
Suggest that the driver limit their driving to avoid night driving or long trips.
Review any medications or medical issues that could diminish the driver’s reflexes and vision or stress causing issues that could affect their driving behavior.
Travel along with the older driver and either videotape or keep notes of missed signs, near misses, confusion etc. Unless you need to intervene to prevent a collision, don’t comment during the drive; it will only make the driver more nervous. Review your findings after the trip.
Consult with the driver?s doctors to see if any medical issues may limit the driver’s abilities to drive safely.
Hold an intervention with family members and concerned friends to try to convince the driver to voluntarily stop driving.
If all else fails and you feel the situation is too dangerous, take the keys and remove the car.

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How to Drive Your Elder Parent Crazy in Five Easy Steps

by bobcrabtree1 Posted: Friday, 1/15/2010

Many older adults are in fear of living ?past their savings?. Elder care services, whether delivered at home or within a facility setting are quite expensive and so many families are forced to provide this care for one another.

Most adult children will readily jump in to help when ?the time comes.? Translation ? a crisis occurs ? a fall, a stroke, a heart attack, a broken hip…

Discussing ahead of time what each (the adult child and the older parent) would define as ?help? has not occurred. Consequently, assumptions are made and those assumptions can drive the entire family crazy.

The following five steps are in jest but should drive home the need to openly discuss with your loved ones what you are capable of doing, what your limitations are, what you are not willing or able to do (and so forth) with your parent. Your parent must also have the opportunity to relay what he or she expects from you. This discussion is most productive if explored before the ?crisis?.

Step One ? Assume the Parental Role

From now on, you are in charge ? what your parent wants no longer matters ? because you know best! Change as much as possible; rearrange the furniture, throw things out without permission, and completely revise all daily routines.

Question every move your parent makes. Question every decision your parent makes. Instill a daily routine that when they ?obey your wishes? you will feel safe knowing exactly what your parent is doing and where he or she is at all times.

When your parent begins to stand up from a sitting position, say things like, ?Where are you going?? or ?Sit! Tell me what you need, I?ll get it for you!? This works best if you use the authoritative ?parenting voice?.

Step Two ? Completely Change Their Diet

You are a healthy baby-boomer and have been eating a healthy diet for years. Your parents still have a pot of grease on the stove top drained from the morning bacon. You haven?t eaten canned vegetables or fruits since you lived at home, you prefer fresh and organic. Now that you?re in charge ? you can make your parents healthy.

Take over the shopping. It doesn?t matter if your parents give you a list ? you know best. Shop for them like you shop for yourself. Make them eat their five servings of fresh fruit and vegetables every day. Cut down or eliminate on meat consumption, no more bacon, meatloaf, fried potatoes, canned corn and gravy.

When your parents complain, just reply, ?I?m going to get you healthy again!? and then completely ignore any other objections they may have, you are after all, in charge.

Step Three ? Talk Down to Them and About Them

Begin using a ?sing-song? voice and speak to your parent as though they were two years old. If you?ve always called your mother ?Mom? and your father ?Dad? now is the time to start calling them ?Mommy? or ?Daddy?.

When you are at their home and another sibling or other person comes to visit, talk about your parents, in front of them, and pretend they can?t either hear you or understand you. Make sure you discuss private and potentially embarrassing things. Say something like, ?Daddy is doing okay today, we?ve been able to get him to the bathroom on time and so far, knock on wood, no accidents.? Or try this, ?Mommy is not feeling so well today, she wouldn?t even let me help her take a bath.?

Step Four ? Intercede all Communications

You decide what mail your parents will read and what is thrown out before they see it. You grab the phone when it rings and before you hand it over to your parent, you screen the call. If it?s a relative, friend or neighbor of your parent, be certain to provide a quick update on how your parent is doing ? before you hand the phone over.

You decide who can visit and who can?t. You determine which visitors may prove to be upsetting and you make up the excuses as to why a visit isn?t a good idea at the moment.

When your parents question you, simply say, ?Daddy, I?m just trying to protect you.? Make sure you use your parenting voice.

Step Five ? Over Extend Yourself

Assume that you are the only person on this planet that can provide the proper care for your loved ones. No one else could possibly do the job as well as you. Meanwhile, allow the rest of your life to suffer. You will quickly become exhausted and stressed.

When your parent lovingly says, ?You look tired honey, are you okay?? This is your cue to SNAP! Be as indignant as possible and use your ?outside voice? and exclaim, ?Yes! I?m exhausted. Look at what I?m doing ? (and then proceed to rattle off each and every daily item that you attend to followed with) and on top of that, I?m here cleaning up after you and making sure you?re okay!?

Founder and president of Senior Approved Services advocating for the right of all seniors to receive excellent care.

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How to Prepare for our Nation’s Elderly Population Shift

by bobcrabtree1 Posted: Thursday, 1/14/2010

Everyday 10,000 Americans celebrate their 50th Birthday. By the year 2030 over 70 million Americans will be senior citizens. As this wave of seniors marches forward we need to prepare for this transition. By planning ahead we can ensure that we are capable of offering quality care to our thoroughbred Americans.

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