From an evolutionary standpoint, our bodies are made for short bursts of stress like running away from dangerous situations, such as a forest fire. But today’s world is one of constant low-level stress. For caregivers, high stress levels are continual. And frankly, the human body isn’t made to withstand such constant wear and tear. As a whole, many family caregivers cannot put aside strong feelings associated with care giving, which can run the gamut from devotion to guilt, to see the importance of avoiding the problem of caregiver burnout. I cannot stress this enough: as a caregiver, you are only as good as the care you can provide. Oftentimes this is based on factors outside your control. You will get tired. You will get frustrated. You will need help. You’re allowed to have these thoughts and feelings. So how do you know when passing frustration has fizzled into a burnout situation? Well, early signs are similar to depression in that caregivers can vacillate between anger, anxiety, sadness and irritability. Feelings of exhaustion, both physically and emotionally, along with changes in weight are also hallmarks. Keep in mind that a depressed mind can make for a depressed immune system; getting sick often could be another warning sign. (Additionally, perhaps the greatest irony of care giving is that the care giver’s health concerns are often not looked into, because the caregiver isn’t the one who is sick or needs help. Many family caregivers are reluctant to ;take up time; for their own doctor visits.) If any of these symptoms grow in frequency or intensity, then it is time to seek help. Again and again I urge caregivers to make certain they are taking care of themselves, because although it is noble to place someone else’s needs above yours, it is not always feasible or right. In parent-child relationships, the adult children will often feel that they must look after the parent to return the favor of having been raised by them; even they are unqualified or ill-equipped to do so. These are all honorable ideas, but the reality is that care giving situations; just like raising a child; requires a village. If you want to provide good long-term care then you need to get hooked in with family, friends and outside resources. You can be the primary caregiver and still not be there every minute of the day. Spread out responsibilities.
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